Blessings of Bipolar Stability

Today I am feeling truly blessed. I have my two older sons visiting with me (26 and 24), and I think back to a time when they would have nothing to do with me because of my addictions and bipolar disorder. So much has changed...

When my sons were younger, they were subject to a mom with extremes in mood changes, unpredictable, irrational, and impulsive behavior, grandiose ideas and plans, risky behaviors, and all the rest that comes with not only bipolar, but addiction as well.

I was an alcoholic and addict and had undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Before I was diagnosed officially with bipolar, I self-medicated my bipolar symptoms with alcohol and drugs. I was on a definite slow path to self-destruction on the installment plan. I had no idea what the future would hold.

I was a terrible mom. I couldn't take care of myself, much less take care of my children. I think they mostly raised themselves, and it's a miracle they've turned out to be the wonderful young men that they are today. One is plagued by the bipolar demons that almost destroyed me, but the other one seems free of them. But at least the one who is, can get the help he needs at a much younger age than I did.

I wasn't diagnosed until my forties, leaving behind much destruction and self-destruction in my wake. How I wish I had the opportunity that my son has, to be diagnosed so much younger and put on the right medications so as to avoid the bad decisions and impulsive behavior that cost me so much of my life.

Things could have been so different had I been diagnosed earlier. I could have been a better mom, for one thing. I could have been there for my children, instead of fighting inner battles all the time, fantasizing about suicide and other ways of self-terminating just to escape the daily pain of my life as a person with (undiagnosed) bipolar disorder. I lived with irrational thoughts as a way of life back then.

But that was almost ten years ago now, and the difference is like night and day. Once I was diagnosed and put on the right medications, it was like a lightbulb was lit in my head! Everything seemed clearer, and I was free from the chaos and drama that had plagued my whole life before then.

I began seeing a psychiatrist and therapist, and working through the irrational thoughts and fallout from consequences of my past bipolar episodes and behavior. And through the help of a 12-step program, was able to make amends to my children.

Now I have new relationships with my sons, dare I say, better relationships with my sons, as we relate on an adult level, and they understand that it was the disorder that caused me to act the way I did, and not me. Now they know me as the loving mom I had always wanted to be.

Yes, today I am truly blessed. I have stability, long-term stability, something that at one time I thought was far beyond my reach. But with hard work, determination, and hope, I have been able to attain it, and thus attain a good relationship with my sons.

I wish the same for you. If you are struggling with your bipolar disorder now, don't give up hope. I never did. I had to have hope, because the alternative was just more of what I had been living, and I couldn't bear that. You don't want to stay where you are - you want to move forward, however slow the progress. Someday you will reach stability, and you will be able to repair your broken relationships too! Just don't give up - keep doing what you need to do to maintain your stability and you'll get there.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

When You Don't Feel Like It With Bipolar

Sometimes, with bipolar disorder, you don't feel like doing everything you're supposed to do to keep it under good management. You don't feel like taking all those pills, or going to all those appointments, or exercising or eating right, etc.

So what do you do when you don't feel like doing all these things? You press on anyway, knowing that you don't want to face the consequences if you should stop doing them.

If you don't keep doing all the things you're supposed to do even when you don't feel like doing them, the consequences are worse, usually that you will go into a bipolar episode, and you don't want that.

You need to press on, even when you don't want to. It helps to have a positive attitude, to keep in mind the stability that doing the things you should brings you.

If you have a negative attitude, it's easy to fall into the "I don't feel like it" frame of mind, and then you start letting things slip, jeopardizing the very stability that you hold dear.

There was a time when I fell into that "I don't feel like it" frame of mind, and I let it get a hold of me. I even went off my medications, because I "didn't feel like" taking them any more. You guessed it! I went right into a bipolar episode!

After that, I began to take my medications religiously, as well as to do all the other things I do to keep me stable, even when I don't feel like it. Stability is just too important to me, and I don't want to pay the consequences.

Sometimes, like I said, you just have to press on, even when you don't feel like it. It will be worth it in the end, when you remain stable for a long period of time and go without those bipolar episodes you so dread.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

Bipolar Disorder and the Weather

I don't know what it's been like where you are, but here it's been snowing, and everyone's been forced to stay inside, which isn't always good for someone with bipolar disorder.

You've heard of "cabin fever," right? Well, I think people with bipolar disorder get it worse than other people do. If you're stuck inside too long, it can either drive you manic or into a depression, if you don't do something about it.

If you're stuck inside because of the snow, that's a good time to work on one of the projects you've been putting off. At least then you stay productive, and feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. This is good for your bipolar disorder, and good for how you feel about yourself.

At least our snow only lasted a couple of days, and then we were able to get outside again and go shopping and whatnot, so th cabin fever didn't really get to us. So neither my husband nor I experienced any bipolar symptoms during this time.

But when the weather is bad, it is not unusual to experience bipolar symptoms. There is even a syndrome that occurs during the winter months call SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), when during the cold months, when you are forced to stay insided because of the nasty weather, depression increases.

That can happen more easily with bipolar disorder, for those prone to depression anyway. The best thing you can do is get out as often as you can when the weather is good enough. Fresh air is good for those prone to depression.

Don't let the bad weather get you down. Get out as much as you can. This way you can overcome SAD and other feelings of depression because of the bad weather of the winter months. And it won't destroy your enjoyment of the holidays, either.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar: Remembering My Sister Today

Well, today is kind of a sad day for me, as I remember what would have been my sister's birthday. She had bipolar disorder, too, except she went off her medications, went into a bipolar episode, and killed herself five years ago.

It doesn't get any easier for me. I mean, I have made peace with the idea that she killed herself, but never peace with the idea that I still miss her so very much. You see, we were like twins. Even in the face that we both had bipolar disorder.

The big difference is that I stayed on my medication, while she went off hers, went into a major bipolar episode, and took her own life. She never would have done that had she not been in an episode. That just wasn't like her at all. She had so much to live for.

Suicide for my sister, as it is for many people with bipolar, was the result of an irrational mind. She just wasn't rational at the time. She wasn't thinking good thoughts or making good decisions, or she wouldn't have done what she did.

She sure wasn't thinking about how it would affect those people who love her - it devastated all of us! We still remember her on her birthday (today) and on her death day, April 15th. I always put up her picture and light a candle for her. My mom does the same thing.

We miss her so much. It tooke years for me to get over the anger at the senselessness of it all. There was no reason for her to do what she did. Oh, but the bipolar made sense of it for her - it gave her irrational thoughts that she believed, so she took her own life because of those thoughts.

Every year at this time, I make a plea for people with bipolar disorder to stay on their medications - don't even think of going off of them!!! Otherwise you, too, could go into a bipolar episode and end up killing yourself like my sister did. I'd hate to see that happen to anyone else, and so I make this plea.

Even if things are hard for you at this time of year, which they are for many people, hang in there - things will get better. They would have for my sister, if she just would have hung in there.

The episode would have eventually gotten over, and she could have faced her problems and solved at least some of them. She had family who loved her very much, including a husband of 21 years.

If you are even thinking of stopping your medications, think of my sister. And don't! And if you are struggling right now and even thinking of suicide, remember no matter how bad things seem right now, they will get better - they always do. Just hang in there. And remember my sister. If she had only waited one more day, things would have been so much different for her...

Please, if you are thinking along these lines, just wait one more day, and things will be so different for you, too.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele
ps. Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Bipolar: Take It Easy At Holiday Time

With all the hussle and bussle of the holidays going on, there's one thing you can't forget if you've got bipolar disorder - take it easy.

I know you've probably got shopping to do, a tree to put up and decorate, holiday decorations to put up, cooking and baking to do, family and friends to visit, parties and family gatherings to go to, and endless other holiday activities and responsibilities to attend to, but if you don't take it easy, it can all get too overwhelming for you.

In between all your other scheduling, try to schedule in some breaks for yourself. In between seeing other people, try to schedule some alone time as well.

Remember that although Christmas is a time for giving, you still need to give to yourself first. You still have to make sure you're doing the things you need to do to keep your bipolar under control.

Whatever you're doing, just take it easy. Don't try to do everything at once. Space things out, and give yourself time to get everything done. Things will fall into place as they will. Just don't stress yourself over it.

Try to do things according to priority. Making a To-Do List is good for this. When you see things listed out in front of you, it's easier to prioritize them. But, again, don't stress yourself over it - if you don't get everything done today, you can finish the list tomorrow.

Or don't make the list so long in the first place that you can't get everything done on it - that's just setting yourself up for failure. Your list needs to be such that you can get everything done and feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day.

Christmastime should be a happy time. If you've got this time too wrapped up in outer trappings, with too many things to do, you won't be able to enjoy yourself or the season itself.

You can have a happy holiday season, if you just remember to take it easy.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Seeing Things Clearly With Bipolar Disorder

I just got new glasses, and it's like I can see clearly for the very first time! I had glasses once a long time ago, but I've gone without them for many years (due to my own vanity) and have just been wearing reading glasses for up-close reading when I've needed them. But I just got to the point where I was using the strongest reading glasses and had to get "real" glasses.

The minute I put them on, it wa like someone had taken away a hazy shield from my world! Everything was in focus, and I could see things far away that I never could before. Oh, how my husband laughed at me as I started reading license plates, store signs and street signs as we pulled away from the eye center!

I was like a child in a new world, and have been since, with this newfound clarity! It is so exciting to see things in this new way - or to see things for the first time, no longer just blurry renditions of themselves.

It's kind of like with bipolar disorder - like in the beginning, when you've been struggling along for so long with the undiagnosed disorder and when you're finally diagnosed and put on the right medication, and all of a sudden you see your whole world with a clarity you've seen it with before!

All of a sudden your world makes sense! Whereas before your thoughts (and judgment) may have been clouded, now they are suddenly very clear.

You are able to make decisions easier and to make better ones, because your mind is no longer so "foggy." Like how I felt putting on my glasses for the first time - all of a sudden everything is easier, clearer.

Things that seemed so difficult before (like getting out of bed) are easier to do now. And after some time has passed, even easier to do, to the point that you wonder why it was ever difficult in the first place!

Bipolar can stop you from being able to do many things until you are properly diagnosed and put on the right medications.

Then, however, it is like me getting my glasses - all of a sudden, you can "see" with clarity what you couldn't see before!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar Disorder or What?

There's a guy I'm dealing with right now, who isn't exactly "right," and I'm asking myself, "Well, is it bipolar disorder or what?" Here I am, not a doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist, but I'm diagnosing this guy anyway. Because I've seen so much of it. And so many people with it - did you know that 1 in 4 people has a diagnosable mental illness? That's a lot of people.

Anyway, the uneducated person in me just wants to get mad at this guy for causing me frustration, and for causing a friend of mine to have problems in his business because of him and things he's doing. But then I think, "He's just sick. There's something wrong with him, and he has a mental illness, and he's just a sick man."

Then the other part of me wants to argue: "Being sick is no excuse to do some of the things he's done. He can't get away with being this way just because he's sick."

And then I realize that these are some of the same comments that have probably been said about me! Or anyone with a mental illness. By people who don't understand.

So I'm trying to understand this man who is doing these things to my friend and his business. I'm trying to understand that he is sick, and that's why he's doing them. And I'm trying to be as understanding of him as I would want someone to be of me.

But there is still a part of me that honestly wants to scream at him, "You're sick and you need to get help!" since he doesn't seem to see his own sickness, and is not getting any help for himself, so he keeps doing these things to my friend (and others).

Then I think of my own stability, and that to maintain it I need to be tolerant of others and accepting of situations I cannot control. I think this falls into those categories.

Well, I want stability more than anything, so I'm afraiid I must, at least at this point, stay out of it, hoping he will see his own need for help, just as I saw mine when the time was right.

What do you think I should do?

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

Bipolar: Black Friday

Well, it's Black Friday, an exciting day for some and a nightmare for others (then there are those of us who avoid it altogether).

I hope y'all had a great Thanksgiving yesterday. We did. We went to my husband's grandmother's house for dinner at noon, but only stayed a couple of hours.

Family gatherings are hard for us with our bipolar disorder. There is usually a lot of stress with all that family around. Like yesterday, when my husband said that we were going to leave because his leg was bothering him (he has chronic pain in his leg), his grandmother accused him of faking it.

Before some of the rest of his family could chime in (and before he could act out on his anger), we got out of there! I can just imagine how that made him feel. I know how it would make me feel.

But it was still a good time (until that point, anyway) - my middle son came with us, and my stepdaughter met us there and stayed for around a half hour before she had to go to her other grandmother's, so it was nice that my husband got to see his daughter for at least a little while (he hardly ever sees her - she is at college).

The main thing was that we took care of ourselves and our bipolar disorder, though. We know that these family get-togethers bother us, make our stress levels go up, so we never plan to stay for very long. So we made our escape early this time, like usual.

We know that the family questions it, even makes comments about it, but we have to take care of ourselves first. If we stayed just to please them, or to quiet their comments, our bipolar would suffer.

Just like today, Black Friday. I know that crowds are a trigger to my bipolar disorder, so to take care of myself, I stay away (far away) from the stores on Black Friday. In fact, I had all the rest of my Christmas shopping done on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Whether you do Black Friday or you don't, I hope you're getting into the Holiday Spirit now. Just make sure that you take care of yourself and your bipolar disorder first.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar: Holidays Are Coming

Well, the holidays are coming, and you can tell by an almost shift in the air, if not all the holiday commercials on TV that have started flooding the airwaves!

This year I'm "in the spirit," so to speak, so I am happy about all the hullabaloo, but I can remember years when I was so depressed that all of it just made it worse for me.

The holidays can be the most stressful time for someone with bipolar disorder. What might be exciting for someone without bipolar can be either overly exciting (manic) to someone with bipolar or cause them to go into a depression.

I've been in both at holiday time. So this year I'm happy that I'm stable at this time of the yar, and looking forward to a good holiday season.

I've already even gotten my Christmas shopping done, believe it or not! And I'll be putting up my Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day, so I'm looking forward to that.

I'll be wrapping presents that day and putting them under the tree, thus to begin the month-long wait until Christmas to be able to open gifts. That's the hard part - just having to look at all those gifts and not be able to open them! (my husband has his shopping done too).

I got my shopping done so early because crowds are a trigger to my bipolar disorder, so this way I don't have to deal with them. I'm so glad it's all done!

I used to wait, so that I could be a part of the Christmas spirit at the malls and stores, but I didn't find any Christmas spirit there - just a lot of stressed out people looking for the best deals they could find. It's even worse now with the economy the way it is. So now I don't have to deal with all that, and that makes me happy.

This year we're going to my husband's grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner, so I don't have to fuss with all that, so that makes me pretty happy, too. I remember too many years that making the whole dinner totally stressed me out. This year I won't have to deal with that. Smooth sailing on Thanksgiving Day!

I hope you're taking care of yourself this holiday season and, like me, avoiding your bipolar triggers. If you do, you can have a good holiday season. You just have to do some adapting, like avoiding crowds and planning ahead of time, and things like that.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar Disorder: Try Something Different

In one of my worst depressions, my therapist gave me some of the best advice I've ever gotten: "If what you're doing isn't working for you, try something different."

I've had to use that advice several times over the years, and it has never let me down. Many times I've found myself in a bipolar rut, not knowing what to do, and those words would come back to me: "try something different."

Recently, I've had to use this technique again and, of course, it did not let me down. I'd been having trouble getting to sleep. Once I got to sleep, I was fine - it was just the getting to sleep in the beginning that I was having problems with. So I tried something different.

I tried listening to a CD on Insomnia that I got from a psychiatrist friend of mine at www.goodtapes.com, Louis P. Bauer, PhD. It was amazing how much that CD helped me get to sleep. His soothing voice and technique helped put me to sleep so much faster than I'd been able to get to sleep on my own.

I was able to overcome that hurdle all because I remembered that advice I'd been given way back when to "try something different."

When I was having a problem with racing thoughts, when my mind just wouldn't shut off, I again remembered the advice to "try something different." Everything I'd tried had failed, so I was willing to try anything to still those racing thoughts. It came to me to try doing (easy) crossword puzzles.

I focused my thoughts on the crossword puzzles and not on my own thoughts, and it worked to keep my thoughts from racing. I still use this technique today.

If what you're doing isn't working, "try something different." Be creative, like I was with the crossword puzzle idea. Think of things that you haven't tried before, but would be willing to try to solve your problem. Then try it! It just might be the very thing that takes care of your problem, like the Insomnia CD did for me.

Sometimes, when you have bipolar disorder, things can be going along fine for quite awhile before they stop working as well as they were. That's when you have to "try something different," because what you're doing isn't working any more.

It can happen with medications, too. If you've been on a medication for a long time, it can stop working for you. Then your psychiatrist may have to switch you to another medication. In other words, you have to "try something different."

If you're in a bipolar rut, or stuck in a problem that you haven't been able to find a solution for, try using this piece of advice that worked so well for me: "try something different." It just might be the key to unlocking the puzzle that you've been unable to solve!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Happiness and Bipolar Disorder

Is it possible to be happy and still have bipolar disorder? Yes, I believe it is. I don't ean the giddy exhilerating happiness of a manic episode, just the normal happiness that living a good life can bring.

If you do all the things you do to manage your disorder properly so that you are stable with your bipolar, then stability alone can bring you happiness. Just to not be going in and out of episodes makes me happy.

Spending time with family and friends can bring you happiness. Especially if there was a time when this was ot possible, or was strained due to your bipolar disorder.

Happiness is a state of mind. The more positive you are, the happier you will be. If you're the "look for the silver lining" kind of person, you should be happy just in general, it shouldn't take much to make you happy. There's much to be said for looking on the bright side of things, especially when you have bipolar.

The things that make me happiest are the simple things. I used to struggle just to get out of bed, I was so depressed. It makes me happy now that I can do that without effort, and actually enjoy my days. They are filled with productivity and accomplishments now, where I used to spend much of my time sleeping.

We live on a horse farm out in the country, and I enjoy the simple pleasure of just sitting outside and watching the horses run. It's quiet and peaceful here, and it brings me happiness. I no longer have chaos and turmoil in my life, and that makes me happy, too.

To do things that make you feel good will bring you happiness as well. Even if it's as simple as reading a good book. Or as ambitious as taking a college course. And everything in between, like: watching TV or a good video, listening to soothing music (or any kind of music that you like), taking a long walk, exercising, visiting with a friend or family member, going out to lunch or dinner, going shopping, volunteering, taking a bubble bath, writing a letter or email, cruising the Internet, or any number of things - as long as they make you feel good, they will make you happy.

Thinking back to how far you have come in your recovery should make you happy. To think how much more stable you are than you once were should make you proud of how much you have accomplished for where you are today compared to where you once were. Think of all the things you cana do today that once were practically impossible for you to do. Then be happy that you can do those things today.

Yes, happiness is definitely possible, even though you have bipolar disorder. Don't let your bipolar interfere with your happiness. Be happy in spite of it!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Looking Forward with Bipolar

One of the reasons that people with bipolar disorder get so depressed is that they dwell on the past too much. I think at least one of the reasons I do so well with my bipolar is that I'm always looking forward - I no longer dwell on my past.

It's ok if a past memory comes up and you want to visit it for a little while - just don't spend too much time on it, or it will draw you back there, and the next thing you know you'll be feeling discontent with your present, even depressed.

I learned about living in the present when I took Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), which teaches about mindfulness. Mindfulness teaches you to live in the moment, to experience what you're living in the now, without going back to the past. It teaches you to leave your past behind, where it belongs.

Today my life is so much better than it used to be. I enjoy each and every day that I am stable and not having to battle with bipolar episodes. Those belong to my past, and I have no desire to go back there. If I have a bad day, a thought might come to me that I might be going into an episode, but with my mindfulness training, i just remind myself that I'm living in the present now, and in my present are no bipolar episodes. See how it works?

Dark days belong in the past, not in the present. You've worked too hard to get where you are. Don't go back and visit your dark days any more. That was your past, and it's gone. Leave it alone. The past is passed.

Now is the time for you to enjoy your present and to look forward. There is so much good to look forward to. If you're not where you'd like to be yet, be patient - you'll get there. It just gives you something to look forward to. My husband likes to call those "yets."

The main thing is that you enjoy your present and look forward to your future. And that you leave your past where it belongs - in your past. Today is a new page you have yet to write in the book of your life - make the most of it!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Don't Let Bipolar Disorder Limit You

In order not to let bipolar disorder limit you, you need to remember one very important thing right off the bat - you are NOT your disorder!

Remember that you are a person first and a person with bipolar disorder second. It might help you if you think of it in this way: Bipolar disorder is something that you HAVE, not something that you ARE. I always say I have bipolar disorder, and not I am bipolar. That helps me to keep it two different things.

You are a very special person, aside from the fact that you have bipolar disorder - in fact, despite the fact that you have bipolar. Most people with bipolar are emore intelligent and more creative than those who don't have it. They "color outside the lines," so to speak. Learn to accept, even cherish, your differences, and your bipolar won't limit you.

If you are stable with your disorder, there should be nothing you can't do that someone without the disorder can do. You just have to be wary. In other words, if you know that big crowds of people are a trigger for you, avoid big crowds of people. But don't let it keep you from going out or going to places you still want to go. Just go to places that have a smaller amount of people. For example, if you enjoy shopping, go to a department store instead of the crowded mall.

Don't let bipolar limit your dreams, either. If you dream of going to college, do it. Again, be wary. If you know that stress is a trigger for you, just keep your stress levels to a minimum, but don't let it stop you from going to school. In fact, in this case your bipolar disorder can work to your advantage, as accommodations can be made for you.

As long as you are doing what it takes to stay stable, there are many things you can do. The main thing is your attitude - if you have the attitude that you are not going to let your bipolar disorder limit you, then it won't. Then you can do anything you want.

Just be aware of your triggers, and avoid them. And always be wary of signs and symptoms to a bipolar episode, so you can catch them as soon as they begin and can get treatment for them, so you don't go into a full-blown episode.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

What Really Matters with Bipolar Disorder

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what's really important in my life, especially in relation to my bipolar disorder. And what I've come up with is that it's the little things, the simple things that count the most.

For example, in relation to my bipolar, I don't think about how far I have yet to go, I think instead of how far I have already come with it. There was a time when I couldn't even get out of bed, I was so depressed. Now, I go around speaking about my mental illness for the National Alliance on Mental Illness's In Our Own Voice program, giving people hope that recovery is a possibility for them.

Chaos and drama used to be the norm for me. Especially in manic episodes. Now, simplicity is my way of life. And with simplicity comes peace. I live a very peaceful life now. And because of that, I am able to be stable with my bipolar disorder.

I used to be so stressed all the time! It seemed like my life was one catastrophe after another. I couldn't handle anything, and I went from episode to episode. Now that life is so much simpler, I haven't had an episode in years, and stability is my reward.

Whenever I have a bad day (and yes, I still have bad days here and there), all I have to do is remember how far I've come and I feel better. Things will never be that bad again. I've fought hard to get to where I am now, and I would hate to have to go though all that all over again, so I cherish my stability and do whatever I have to do to maintain it.

If you are struggling right now, then try to keep in mind how far you have already come. Think back to your worst days, and remind yourself that you never have to go back there again. You've come so far! Don't worry about how far you have yet to go - it will come in time. Just keep doing what you have to do one day at a time, and the time will add up for you.

Try to stay positive. Look ahead, and not behind. Try to believe that the worst is over for you, and the best is yet to come. Stability (recovery) IS a possibility for you, as it was for me, and I was one of the most severe cases of bipolar disorder the doctors had ever seen! If I could do it, so can you!

Don't give up hope. Hope can get you through some of the toughest places. Keep your mind on the simple things in life, and not the drama. It's the simple things that will bring you peace and, ultimately, the serenity that you seek.

If your current medication is not working for you, work with your doctor or psychiatrist to find the right medication that will bring you the balance that you need. It's out there! It took me 2 years to find my "sanity cocktail," but it's kept me stable now for many years, so it was worth it.

If you're having trouble finding peace and balance in your life, try working with a therapist to get at those troublesome issues associated with your bipolar disorder that may be keeping you from being stable and finding that peace and balance.

And search within yourself for the courage to keep going in the face of one of the hardest disorders to overcome. You have that courage! You just may have to look a little harder for it. But each day that you get out of bed is an accomplishment, as many people with the disorder are unable to.

Each day that you make it through is a defeat against the disorder that would try to rob you of the stability that is to be yours in the long run. Fight it! And stability will be yours!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Finding Contentment with Bipolar Disorder

How can you find contentment with bipolar disorder? It has to come from within you. The disorder itself will not change - the same diagnosis you had in the beginning is the same diagnosis you have today. The only thing that can change is YOU.

If you have found any contentment at all with having a diagnosis of bipolar, it's because you have found that contentment DESPITE having bipolar disorder. It's because you have found a way to FEEL contented in the midst of the disorder.

That's how I've been able to do it, at least. I know I still have bipolar disorder, but today I am content. Yes, I take a bunch of medication I would rather not take, but if I didn't take it, I wouldn't feel as good as I do today, so I take it. I wish I didn't have to see a therapist twice a month and spill my guts, but I do it because it, too, adds to my general sense of contentment.

These things, as well as all the other things I do to maintain my bipolar stability, add up to my sense of contentment. I do them because I have to in order to maintain stability, but because I do them, I feel content. Does that make sense? In other words, if I didn't do them, I would have no contentment. I wouldn't be happy.

I wouldn't be happy, because I wouldn't be stable, and bipolar stability is of prime importance to me. Without it, my life wouldn't have the quality that it has today. So I do whatever I have to do to have that.

Don't underestimate contentment. It's a great feeling! I remember when it was all I could do just to get through a day. Just to get out of bed, at times, was a major accomplishment for me. Today my life is so much better! So, like I said, I do whatever I have to do to have that, and no longer resent it.

I love that feeling of contentment. The simplicity of my life today is so much more preferable to all that chaos and drama that once ruled my world. I went from manic episode to manic episode, believing that I was so much better off without my medication, because I could be ME! WRONG! I am more ME on my medication than I ever was off it, because on my medication I am in control. And being in control is important to me.

Contentment is serenity. Peace. And those I have in my life today, when there was a point at which I never thought I would have them. So today I am grateful for all the little things that make up that contentment, peace, serenity, and stability.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar: Believe It and It Shall Happen

Believe it and it shall happen. I'm talking about bipolar disorder stability here. I got the phrase from an old movie called Field of Dreams where he said the line, "Build it and they will come."

When I was young, my mom told me that if I believed in something hard enough, I could make it happen. Well, bipolar stability doesn't come that easily, but I am proof that it can happen if you try hard enough.

Of course, there are things that you can do to heelp it along, like taking your medication, seeing your doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, sticking to a good sleep schedule, eating a healthy diet, exercising, being productive, staying balanced, keeping your stress levels down, etc.

The important thing to keep in mind, though, is that stability IS possible! It can really get you down if you don't believe that - if you get too many bad bipolar days and you start thinking, "Is it always going to be like this?"

You've got to stay positive, even in the face of adversity. Yes, some days are harder than other days. But you can't give up! Stability is still out there, and if you don't have it now, that doesn't mean that you won't have it in the future.

Some things just take time. And some things take longer than other things to make it a reality. But if you keep plugging away at it, it can be a reality for you - just look at me! There was a time when I was considered a lost cause! They were going to lock me up and throw away the key!

Many people had given up on me, but there was a small spark of hope left inside me that made me not give up. Stability was still out there for me. It's a good thing I didn't give up, or I wouldn't be here writing to you today, a good example of what hard work and great hope can do for you.

Even when I didn't believe in myself, people like my mom and my sister never stopped believing in me. It gave me the strength I needed to keep going when I wanted to give up. And it paid off in the long run. Don't give up! Even on those dark days, keep holding onto the hope that someday things will get better, and they will!

I know some days can be hard, believe me, I went through enough dark days of my own. But something inside me wouldn't let go of hope. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Don't let go of your hope. Just don't let go. Stability is out there, believe me. If it could happen for me, the ultimate in lost causes, it can happen for you, too.

Believe it and it shall happen!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar and the Pursuit of Dreams

I recently read an interview iwth Henry Winkler (for my generation, from the series Happy Days), and it was really interesting. Not that he has bipolar disorder, but much of what he said can apply to us with the disorder as well.

It said that tenacity and gratitude are both qualities that he possesses. Now, gratitude I understand, but tenacity I wasn't so sure of, so I looked it up in the dictionary.

Webster's says that tenacity is: "the quality or state of being strong; holding fast; not easily pulled apart."

That sounds like a quality we should have as well. We should definitely be strong, but "not easily pulled apart" is much more descriptive of how we should be. We need to "hold fast," not letting our bipolar disorder get the better of us.

The interview gave the following quote by Winkler: "The big lesson I've learned is that if you have a dream, if you can visualize what it is you want to do, and really hold onto that, you can pretty much live it... Will, personal will and the strength of will determine the outcome of your life."

Wow. I thought that was really profound. Sometimes it takes a lot to be able to hold onto (hold fast to) our dreams and not let them go in light of our bipolar disorder, but according to Henry Winkler, that's what we should do in order to attain them.

"Will, personal will and the strength of will determine the outcome of your life..." is a pretty strong line to say, much less to live out.

Of course, it will only work if you're also doing all the other things you need to do to manage your bipolar, but will does have a lot to do with how far you get in the direction you want to go in life.

With your bipolar toolbox at your feet, and your self-management of your disorder in place, along with tenacity, gratitude and strength of will, you should be able to go far in attaining stability with your bipolar disorder and your dreams themselves.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar? Treat Yourself Well

If you have bipolar disorder, you need to treat yourself well. It's hard enough coping and dealing with the disorder and trying to manage its symptoms on a daily basis - you need to give yourself a break and do good things for yourself - things that make you feel good.

There are things you need to do for yourself as part of your treatment plan - things you should already be doing: like getting the right amount of sleep (8-9 uninterrupted hours of sleep every night), eating a healthy diet, and exercising at leat 3 times a week (even if it's only walking).

You should have also already made lifestyle changes to make your life as stress-free as possible, even including stress reduction exercises if necessary. The lower the stress in your life, the less chance of a trigger to a bipolar episode by that means.

But part of good management of bipolar disorder is daily maintenance of coping skills, and that includes taking care of yourself and your needs.

One of those crucial needs is the need for emotional well-being. You need to have pleasure in your life to be happy. And you can't let your bipolar rob you of the happiness you deserve. So you have to compensate for that.

You can do this by having a hobby you enjoy, or doing things that bring you pleasure. These could be things like reading, watching TV or videos, going to the movies, out to lunch with a friend, dinner with your supporter, shopping (just not excessive manic shopping!), listening to music, volunteering, working, pursuing a hobby or other outside intrest, taking a college course or two, visiting family or an older child, visiting with a friend, going to church or synagogue, or anything else that makes you feel good.

The important thing is that you treat yourself well. You should at least treat yourself as good as you would expect or want someone else to treat you. You deserve at least that much.

Treating yourself well is essential to your emotional health, which is good for your mental health as well. It will make a great deal of difference n your stability, and you will be happier for it.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Sometimes You Just Get Through It With Bipolar

I'd like to be able to tell you that it's a great ride with bipolar, but I've never lied to you before, and I'm not going to start now. Oh, it's a ride all right, a rollercoaster ride. All those ups and downs.

Sometimes it doesn't feel like you'll ever get a break from those ups and downs, but you do. Did you know that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual on Mental Disorders (DSM-IV) says that you should only have about 4 episodes your whole life? Now, they're talking about full-blown episodes, not mini-episodes, which do occur more frequently.

So, according to them, you should get more of a break than I bet you think you do. So what can you do about it? Well, you do the best you can. Sometimes, that's all you can do. Someone once said, "You tie a knot in your rope and hang on for all you're worth!" I agree with that.

The truth is, sometimes you just get through it with bipolar disorder. Sometimes that's the best you can do. You're going to have bad days sometimes. But the good days always outweigh the bad days, when it comes down to it.

So all I can tell you to do is to enjoy the good days when you have them, and put up with the bad days when you have to.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Taking Bad Bipolar Days With Good Days

When you have bipolar disorder, you have to take the bad days with the good ones. That's true for life in general, but especially true when it comes to bipolar.

But you can't take it to the extreme. What am I talking about? First of all, you can't assume that every time you feel bad or are in a bad mood that it means you are in a bipolar depressive episode. Bad days are going to happen, no matter what. They happen to people who don't have the disorder, too.

You still have to be vigilant and watch for triggers, and signs and symptoms of a bipolar episode, but you don't need to assume that every time you feel bad that it's an episode in the making, either. Remember, bad days are going to happen.

You just have to take the bad days with the good when you have bipolar disorder. You can get through them. When they come, just tell yourself that this is NOT a bipolar episode, but only a bad day. Then try to be positive, and do something to take your mind off it (doing positive things will usually accomplish this).

When you set your mind onto positive thinking, positive actions usually follow. First, accept that it's only a bad feeling, or a bad mood, or a bad (bipolar) day, and not an episode.

Then turn your mind to the positive, like thinking you can get through this, as you have before. Try thinking positive things, like being grateful that you are not, in fact, in an episode.

Some people even make a gratitude list and find that this helps them to turn their mind toward the positive. To do this, you take a pen and paper and list 10 things you are grateful for. If you can list more than 10, all the better. This will help to put you into a more positive frame of mind.

Other people use positive affirmations. These are sayings that you can write down and put in prominant places (like mirrors or the refrigerator) and look at to remind you to be positive, such as: "I can do this," or "I can handle anything," or "I have been here before and made it through, and I will make it through again." You get the idea.

Positive affirmations can be anything you want them to be. Even "You are loved" is a positive affirmation that many people use.

Then turn your positive attitude into positive action. Got to your volunteer work and help someone else. Work on your hobby. Do something creative and/or constructive. Try reading something uplifting. Listen to some quiet or inspirational music, or any type of music that will keep you positive. Talk to a friend or family member.

The main thing is to remember that you don't have to let the bad days get you down. They are only temporary. The bad feelings will always pass, as will the bad bipolar days. Good days will always return.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Don't Give Up Hope with Bipolar

I had trouble coming up with a topic to write about bipolar disorder today, until I just thought about the basics of what I really wanted to say: Never give up despite the fact that you have bipolar disorder.

We can get so discouraged sometimes because of our disorder - sometimes the little things can get to us, or situations can pile up onus and even get us so down that it leads to a bipolar depressive episode.

That's almost normal for some of us with bipolar. But I wanted to encourage you today that it doesn't have to be! No matter what is happening in your life right now, don't give up - things WILL get better! They always do.

I know, because I used to be very suicidal. That was during my darkest days with my bipolar disorder. I used to get so overwhelmed by the least little thing. And big things used to put me into a panic attack - I just couldn't handle anything, it seemed sometimes.

Stability seemed liek such a far-off goal, one that I thought I could never attain. But then I took something from the 12-step programs. I realized I could only fight this thing one day at a time. I had no more energy than that at one point, so that's how I started.

Then one day led to two, and two to three, then I was able to put a whole week together, then a month, etc., etc. Then it turned into years, and I've been stable now for several years. But I still only do it one day at a time - I still can't handle more than that, or I get too overwhelmed.

But I had to start believing again. I had been to the bottom, even to the point of suicide, and I had to start looking up again, to believing that things could get better. They had to, I thought, they couldn't get worse. I had just been hospitalized for the 5th time.

How could they get worse? I was ready to believe that bipolar disorder had gotten the best of me. But there was just a tiny bit of fight left in me, and I couldn't give up. I just couldn't let the disorder beat me. So I fought back. One day at a time.

I had one good day. One day without the mood swings. One day where my medications stopped me from going crazy. One day when I felt almost normal. One day when I actually had hope for the future.

I built on that hope. And I had more good days. And more. Then good months. Then more. And I never gave up hope. Hope that I could get better, and that things would get better for me. All because I had that little bit of fight left in me. I just couldn't let that bipolar disorder defeat me.

And neither can you. Don't let bipolar get the best of you. You don't have to let it get you down. You CAN have a better life despite the fact that you have bipolar disorder. You CAN reach stability, and you CAN have it for lengths of time. If I can do it, so can you.

So today I offer you HOPE. Hope that, one day at a time, stability can be a reality for you. You don't have to suffer from bipolar forever. Things CAN get better for you. Just don't give up hope.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,
Michele

Watch Out For Quick Fix With Bipolar Disorder

Not everything has an immediate fix to it, especially when it comes to bipolar disorder. Watch out if someone gives you advice that does - it probably won't turn out so well for you.

You've heard the expression, "If something seems too good to be true, it probably is," haven't you?

Well, the same can be said when you're trying to work out a problem associated with your bipolar disorder.

More likely, you will have to approach it more carefully, looking at all the angles, trying to find out all the options, before settling on the right solution for the situation confronting you.

Not too many things come that easy in life - usually you have to fight for what you want, and bipolar is no different. If you want stability, you have to fight for it. There is no immediate fix for bipolar stability.

If someone tells you that their loved one (or they) took a certain medication and it worked like magic for them and it will do the same for you, be wary. Everybody is different.

And this is especially true when it comes to bipolar medication. What works for one person may not work as well for another person, and vice versa.

You need to stick to what works well for you. Stick to your own treatment plan and, over time, you will reach bipolar stability. Good things come to those who wait, remember? This is no different.

And it will be worth the wait when you find those episodes more spaced apart or gradually diminishing, those mood swings stabilizing, and your life becoming more balanced.

Just remember that it won't happen overnight. It will take time.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar Disorder: Trusting Others

It's not so easy to trust others when you have bipolar disorder, but sometimes you just have to do it - like, say, your supporter. This is the person closest to you, so if you don't trust them, who are you going to trust?

I would say that trust was one of the hardest issues I had to learn to face when I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was one of those "emotional side effects" of bipolar that I had to deal with in therapy, because I really didn't trust people very much.

The first area where this issue raised its ugly head was whether I should tell people I had bipolar or not - who did I trust enough to tell? Who did I not trust, so that I wouldn't tell them I had the disorder?

I found that I really didn't trust that many people at all at first. But graudally, I grew to trust more people, and brought them into my support system.

The more people I brought into my support system, or the more I began to trust people, the more I knew I was beginning to grow, or to heal, from my bipolar disorder - the more stable I was becoming, in other words. The more you can trust, the better you are getting.

It starts with your supporter. First, you learn to trust them. As tehy are closest to you, you start first with small things, and then begin to trust them with bigger issues, like how you are feeling, and with your thoughts, especially when they are not the best of thoughts, and you need someone to talk to about them.

After some time goes by and they show you their support and understanding, you learn to trust them more.

Then you begin to expand this trust to other people, first with the people in your support system, then to other people. This is how you learn to trust others, a necessary part of management of your bipolar disorder.

Learning to trust others shows that you are getting better. As you get more stable, it will be easier to trust other people.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar Disorder - Sometimes You Have to Wait

When you have bipolar disorder, sometimes you have to wait for the results you want. You can't always have what you want when you want it (as much as you would like to).

Some things may come quickly, such as when you have a quick (and positive) result from a new medication; however, other times you have to wait for longer-term results, such as stability.

This can be difficult, especially if you're one of those people who is used to getting what they want when they want it. Bipolar just doesn't work that way.

Not that you want it to be in charge of you (in fact, you want the opposite - you want to be in charge of it), but there are some things that just take time to work out the way you want them to, like bipolar stability, for example.

In order to attain bipolar stability, you have to do certain things. Like take your medication on a daily basis, go to see your medical and mental health professionals on a regular basis, maintain a good sleep schedule, eat a healthy diet, and exercise.

In addition, you need to stay productive, and do other things to maintain a healthy emotional life as well as a healthy physical and spiritual life.

You also need to stay balanced in every way, and you need to do it on a regular, long-term basis. Stability doesn't happen overnight.

That bears repeating - stability does NOT happen overnight. It takes long term devotion to doing the things you need to do to maintain that stability. That takes an investment on your part, and it doesn't comes easily, nor quickly.

Usually, however, the things most worth having are worth waiting for, and stability is no different. You will find, as time goes on, that you will begin to feel better, and it will have been worth the wait as you attain your goal.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Doing the Best You Can With Bipolar

There are some days when just doing the best you can is all you can do to manage your bipolar disorder. And that's ok.

I think sometimes we expect too much from ourselves - even more than we'd expect from anyone else, and definitely more than anyone else expects from us. What's wrong with just coasting along, anyway?

Every day doesn't have to be a milestone day. It can just be a getting along the best you can day. Really, that's ok. There are a lot more of those kinds of days than there are the other kind.

There's more to be said about just doing the best you can. Compare it to when you've been in a bipolar depressive episode, and you'll see that it's a whole lot better, isn't it?

Sometimes the best you can do is all that you can do, especially when you're fighting depression. You can't expect as much from yourself when you're trying not to be depressed at the same time. You just do what you can, and leave the rest alone.

Then there are other days when you have more energy, and you can do more on those days. On those days, you can expect a little bit more from yourself. Do a little bit more, maybe go somewhere you might otherwise not go.

The thing is to maintain a balance, and not to expect more from yourself than you can handle at any given time. Just go along with your life, even with the ups and downs of your bipolar disorder. Try not to let them swing you too hard, and they won't get the best of you.

Get the most out of your good days, and just do the best you can on the not-so-good days, understanding that you will have some of those - that's just being realistic.

And, as you go along and get more stable, you'll find that you have more good days than bad days, and just doing the best you can has gotten you that far.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Anger and Bipolar Stability

Anger is a natural emotion, but it can threaten bipolar stability. Anger in itself isn't bad, it's what you do with it that determines whether it is harmful or not. For me, anger is a reaction to something, usually something I don't like that is happening to me or around me, and usually something I can't control (which usually makes me angrier).

I like to be in control. With my bipolar disorder, I need to be in control. Stability is very important to me. When I'm angry, I'm not in control. So I have had to learn to manage my anger, as I have had to learn to manage my bipolar. But it has been one of the hardest things I have had to do.

Ange is one of those things that comes naturally to us. Somethings happens, and we react. Many times we react in anger. In my case, I react in anger when my feelings get hurt. I never learned to process feelings of hurt or helplessness, so I turn it into anger.

If someone hurts me, I can easily form a resentment against them. It took me a long time to learn that when I do that, I am the one who is getting hurt, because they are not even aware of the resentment, and they may not even know that they have hurt me at all! So they're just going along like nothing has happened, while I'm stewing in this anger and resentment.

I learned that first of all, I need to tell the person that what they have done has made me angry. But in order to do that, I need to step back from the anger, or it will just spill out as one big emotional tidal wave, and not accomplish anything. For example, I can control my voice and not yell at the person. I can stay calm while expressing my feelings.

Most times, the person will either not realize that they did anything to make me angry, or will apologize for making me angry. In either case, I have learned that is enough to allay my anger and to calm down and forgive them, so that I harbor no resentment.

If I were to keep the resentment anyway, it would only hurt me in the long run. Anger turned inward becomes depression and in our case, leads to a bipolar depressive episode, and I can't afford that, so I have learned to let it go.

Holding onto anger can also make you ill in other ways. For one thing, it can keep you from sleepping, which can lead to a bipolar manic episode. But it can also make you physically ill as well. It can give you anxiety from the stress of it. It can give you stomach problems and headaches. It can give you high blood pressure. At worst, it can lead to stroke or even heart attack. In my opinion, it just isn't worth it.

If you have bipolar disorder, you need to learn to manage your anger just as much as you need to learn to manager your disorder, or you will pay for it in the long run. It will affect your stability and possibly even your health.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Not Always Easy With Bipolar

I'm down in Florida visiting my parents and their neighbor came over the other night and was upset because she had been turned down for life insurance just because she has bipolar disorder. She said it upset her because she had been stable for so long and had worked so hard at it, but this was enough to depress her all over again. It made her feel handicapped.

I know how she feels. The same thing happened to me. I applied for life insurance and was turned down because I have bipolar disorder, too. Oh, they would let me have it if they rated me, but the rated amount was way beyond what I could afford to pay. It was like a penalty just for having bipolar. The point was that it did, like this neighbor said, make me feel handicapped. It made me feel different. It made me feel less than.

The point is that, even when you're at your most stable with bipolar disorder, there will still be situations that will pop up to challenge that stability. You will still have to face things that you're not sure you can cope and deal with, even if you've been stable for a long time. It doesn't mean you have to go into a depression over it, however - not if you fight it. And that's what I told this neighbor to do.

There are things you have control over and things you don't have control over. The things you don't have control over, you just have to let go of - like the insurance company. I told her there was nothing she could do about that, so she just needed to let go of it, and not allow it to bring her down or make her feel handicapped. Things you do have control over are things like your own thoughts - you can choose those - such as deciding NOT to dwell on negative thoughts, like thinking about how depressing it is to be thought of as different by the insurance company. I told her to think instead of positive thoughts, like how far she's come in her stability, in her recovery, compared to even a year ago. Then she doesn't seem so handicapped.

Much of the way to fight your bipolar disorder is in how you look at things. If it had its way, your disorder would have you depressed and helpless and hopeless, looking at your situations as overwhelming and your problems as unsolvable. That's enough to keep you bound to your disorder and in a depressive episode for months! But then your disorder is in control of you, and you are not in control of it! But that's not the way it should be - you should be the one in control, and you CAN be!

For you to be in control of your bipolar disorder (instead of the other way around), you need to be in control, and you need to look at things from a position of power - as if situations are NOT overwhelming and problems are NOT unsolvable. You need to remind yourself that you CAN cope and deal with situations that confront you, whether you feel like you can at the moment or not - the solution just may not be visible at the time, but you can still believe for it, you can still know that you will be able to cope and deal with the situation. Just remind yourself. Positive self-talk works. It helps you to stay in control of your disorder.

Eventually, time will bear out your effort. The more situations you are able to conquer at this time, the more you will be able to conquer in the future as they confront you. In this way, you will be building stability and strength for your recovery and the ability to cope and deal with more situations.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

Letting It Go With Bipolar

If we were to let everything get to us, we'd be in bipolar episodes all the time, and we can't have that, can we? So we have to find a way to let things go.

It's when we let things pile up that they can overwhelm us to the point of keeping us bound up - they can either wind us up and trigger us into a manic episode or depress us to the point of a bipolar depressive episode.

That's what usually happens when we take other people's problems and make them our own. We have to let them go. I'm not saying to be heartless or not to be a good friend, but you can listen to someone's problems and offer a supportive ear without taking those problems onto yourself - it's when you take them onto yourself that you get yourself into trouble.

You have to learn to let things go when you have bipolar disorder. You can't let things build up, or they will tear you down. A journal is very good for this, as you can write everything down and, once it's written down, let go of it.

I keep a God box for just this type of thing. When a friend brings a need to me, I listen to their problem, write it down on a slip of paper, put it in my God box (my prayer box), and then I let it go (let go and let God), because I know that I can't handle it.

I'm still being a good friend and a good listener, but I'm not taking their problem onto myself, because I know it's not good for my bipolar disorder or for me. I don't think of it as being selfish, because I am doing what I can, but I'm not going beyond my limits, and I'm not making myself sick (I did that too much before).

When you're facing too many stressful situations at one time, you need to let some of them go, or they will overwhelm you and mess with your bipolar disorder, too. Try to look at them objectively, and ask yourself if you can do anything about the situation. If you can, do. If you can't, let go of it.

In many cases, the situation will work itself out. In others, the situation will be there at another time when you will be more able to deal wtih it without being overwhelmed. Or you can ask for help (you can always ask for help).

Just remember - rather than being overwhelmed, LET IT GO! It's never worth going into a bipolar episode over!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Positive Bipolar Attitude

There are different bipolar attitudes that we can get. We can mope, be indifferent, be depressed, be manic, be excited, be optimistic, be disappointed, be worried, be antagonistic, be irritated, be negative, or be positive. As for me, I opt for the positive.

I have had all the other attitudes at times, believe me. Yet none of them got me as far as having a positive attitude has gotten me.

And it doesn't cost you anything! Actually, it does. It costs you energy. Sometimes you have to put forth more energy than you think you have to overcome your natural negativity to be more positive than you feel like it at the time. But it's worth it.

Being positive can keep you out of bed! Many of us know what it's like to spend days or even weeks (for some, even months) in bed without the desire or ability to get out from under those covers. It's a horrible place to be. You feel so helpless and hopeless. You can feel as if this is the way it's always going to be.

Some people, when they are that depressed, even turn their thoughts to suicide. I know that when I was that bad, I would go to bed at night and pray to die. I just couldn't see any way out of my situation. Every day was the same, and I was so depressed, I couldn't get out of bed. If I couldn't get out of bed, I couldn't seek treatment, so it was one big bipolar cycle. Like I said, it was horrible.

I was finally able to get treatment, and the bipolar medication got me stable. I have not only been out of bed since, but my life is productive now. I try to find something to do each day that gets me out of (and keeps me out of) bed. Being positive has improved my life to an amazing degree. I now believe that I never have to go back to the way I used to be.

I am positive toward myself and my recovery. And toward the future. If today is this good, I assume tomorrow will be as well. And when I do have glitches, I deal with them. None of them are so bad that they ever drive me back to bed, so how bad can they be? Nothing will ever be that bad again! That's how I keep my positive attitude. It's a choice. Every day, it's a choice.

Remember to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Handling Bipolar Anger

If anyone ever gave you the idea that once you went on medication for your bipolar disorder that you would never get angry again, they were wrong. And if you believed that you would never get angry again, you were wrong. Anger is a human emotion, and it happens to everyone. It's how you handle it that counts.

When we're unmedicated (untreated) or undermedicated, or we're off our medications and go into a manic rage, we can experience some really strong feelings of anger - that's why it's called a manic rage. That's when our anger is out of control.

When our anger is out of control, it is almost too late to do anything about it. It takes a lot to rein in that anger once it's gotten to the rage stage. If you can recognize it then and intentionally rein it in, you can gain control over it, but it will take effort and energy on your part to do it. It has to be a conscious choice and a decision at that point to turn back the rage.

The point is, you don't want your anger to get that far, though. You want to be able to contol it so that you don't go into a manic rage.

You will get angry. You need to accept that. Everyone gets angry sometimes. But you need to handle it in a positive way.

One person uses what she calls the 10-10-10 rule. It works like this:

She asks herself, "Is this worth getting angry over? Will it have been worth getting angry over 10 minutes from now? 10 days from now? 10 years from now?" In other words, she tries to put her anger into perspective.

For us, anger is usually a knee-jerk reaction to something someone has said or done to us. Part of our management of our bipolar disorder is learning how to be proactive instead of reactive. So we learn how to manage our anger instead of reacting in anger.

Even using the 10-10-10 rule, as good as that is, is still reacting. So how do we manage our anger in a proactive way? First of all, we try to keep our stress levels as low as possible. That way, there is less chance of us ever getting angry in the first place.

Then we surround ourselves with positive people. Positive people are less prone to make us angry. And less prone to get angry themselves.

We also try to avoid situations in which there is a chance that we might become angry. It's kind of like avoiding triggers to episodes. You know what types of things (and people) make you angry. So you avoid those types of things.

For example, I hate waiting in line. It can make me angry to have to wait in line for a long time. So I don't go to places (like the movies) where I know I'm going to have to wait in line; thus, I avoid the trigger to the anger in the first place.

Should you find yourself getting angry, however, there are still some things you can do. Self-talk is one of them. You can use positive self-talk to calm yourself down. Tell yourself (think) things like, "I do not have to get angry over this - this too shall pass." "This is not this person's fault. They can't help it." (which is especially helpful in traffic). "I will not get angry over this. I am choosing not to get angry. I will stay calm instead." These are just some examples. Use whatever works for you.

Anger, although usually a reaction, can also be a choice. You can choose NOT to react in anger. And, in our case, it is the better choice to not react in anger, so that we don't get to the manic rage stage, and so that we maintain our stability.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

Bipolar: Will it Make a Difference?

I'm not as bad as I used to be, really I'm not - I actually used to be worse about worrying about things and jumping to conclusions and letting things get me down. I had to find a way to get out from under all those things, because they were causing me to go into depressions, sometimes some real deep bipolar ones.

Bipolar disorder can be like that sometimes - take you places you don't want to go, like into the pits! You could be having a nice day, everything going along like it should, then WHAM! You get some bad news, and the next thing you know, you're crying and depressed.

I had that happen to me this week, and it took me by surprise, because I've been stable for so long! My mistake was that I let myself get complacent. I haven't been depressed in so long, so I figured it was, like, out of my system or something - that I can deal with things now.

Well, a lot of things have been happening to people close to me, and one day they all hit me at once. I made the mistake of taking them on myself, and they overwhelmed me.

I did what I'm always telling you NOT to do - I tell you NOT to take other people's problems on yourself. Well, for awhile there, I broke my own rule, and I stewed in other people's problems, which of course made me depressed. Not a bipolar episode, just about a half hour of crying and depression.

Then I remembered one of my old tricks to get me out of my depressions: It's called the "Will it Make a Difference Trick." I ask myself, "Will it make a difference if you get depressed about this today?" "Will it make a difference if you are depressed about this tomorrow?" "Will it make a difference if you are depressed about this over the weekend?" "Will it make a difference if you are depressed about this next week?" etc. etc.

In other words, will my getting depressed about it make any difference at all? And in 100% of the cases, the answer has always been NO! So, like this time, after only a half hour, I dried my tears, gave it to God, and went about the rest of my day.

I can't afford to take on other people's problems. Which isn't to say I don't care (I do) - these are two different things. I do what I can to help them, and then I leave the rest alone. Dwelling on their problems will only make me depressed, and then I have another problem to deal with (my depression), which doesn't help matters at all.

What difference does it make if I get depressed over things I can do nothing about? Absolutely none. So I'm better off leaving them alone. In my case, I leave them to someone who is more capable of doing something about them than I am - God.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar and the Golden Rule

We've all heard of the Golden Rule, right? Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Well, try it this way: Treat yourself as you would want others to treat you. A little harder, huh? Especially when you throw bipolar disorder into the mix.

Bipolar tends to make us think less of ourselves, and that's part of the battle. We have to fight those awful mood swings, and especially the depression. When we're down, it certainly colors the way we see everything, even ourselves.

During a depression, we can look down on ourselves, even to feeling helpless and hopeless. Our self-esteem suffers, and we struggle with our identity in light of our disorder. That's what bipolar can do to us if we don't fight it.

But we do need to fight it, every day. We need to remember that we are NOT our disorder! Bipolar disorder is something we HAVE, not something we ARE! If we had a heart condition or diabetes, we wouldn't identify ourselves with our condition, would we? Then we shouldn't do it with our bipolar, either.

It is something outside of our identity, outside of who we really are, deep inside, our core personality - it's just an illness that we have, it's not who we are.

Sorry, I know I can get to preaching about that sometimes, as I feel so strongly about it. I have seen too many people with bipolar really struggle with that concept, and their self-esteem shattered by the disorder.

If you can just take the Golden Rule and adapt it to yourself, like I said in the beginning of this post, it might help you. Just learn to treat yourself a you would want others to treat you. In other words, treat yourself as you would treat anyone else.

You do treat others with kindness, don't you? Then treat yourself with kindness, too. You are good to others, aren't you? Then be good to yourself. You treat others with respect, don't you? Then treat yourself with the same respect that you show others. I'm sure you get the idea.

Don't let your bipolar disorder rob you of the dignity that is inherently yours. Treat yourself the same way you would treat anyone else, and the same way you would want someone else to treat you. Do this long enough, and you will find that your self-respect and self-esteem will rise in spite of your bipolar disorder.

BTW, don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Having Fun Despite Bipolar Disorder

Yesterday we had my son and his girlfriend over for dinner, and I actually had fun! I remembered, though, when my bipolar was so overwhelming that I couldn't have fun doing anything.

That's why I want to remind you that you should still have fun despite having bipolar disorder. Somebody with the disorder told me once, "Yes, I have bipolar disorder, but it's not a death sentence - I can still have fun!" That's what I'm talking about.

Yes, bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness, and we should take it seriously. We should do everything in our power to manage it so that we can stay stable. I'm not saying that we shouldn't take it seriously. But not so seriously that we don't have fun in our lives.

If we're stable, there should be room for fun. In fact, part of our treatment should be doing things that make us feel good. Whatever it is that makes you feel good, you should do it - it will help you to stay balanced, it will improve your mood, and ultimately, it will keep you stable.

Different things work for different people - some like the outdoors, so they do things outdoors for fun Other people prefer indoor activities. Some like sports related activities, while others don't. Some like activities that involve people, while others don't.

The important thing is that whatever it is, it is fun for you. So kick back and enjoy yourself in spite of your bipolar disorder!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Tackling Tough Problems with Bipolar Disorder

Sometimes things pile up when you have bipolar disorder. It just happens. One thing happens after another, and pretty soon you feel overwhelmed by everything. If you're not careful, you can go into a bipolar episode.

If you try to do everything at once, you can go manic and go into a manic episode.

If you let everything get to you, you can go into a depressive episode.

So what's the answer? You have to face everything realistically, without getting too overwhelmed.

What do I mean by that? I mean, it sounds kind of too pat of an answer, doesn't it? Too easy. Yeah, even to me. So here's what I'm talking about: you have to take a step back from all your problems and look at them individually, putting them in a priority order - that's how you look at them realistically.

You can put them in order by easiest to hardest or hardest to easiest, it doesn't matter, but you have to arrange them in some kind of order by rank. It just helps to look at them that way.

I put mine in easiest to hardest order - I like to see them that way, plus, if I can usually knock off the easiest one out, the others are a piece of cake. Other people do it this way, too. It doesn't matter which order you do them, just that you do them.

You need to do this so that things don't keep piling up on you, and so that you don't get overwhelmed. Like I said, if you don't, you could very well go into a bipolar episode.

This is all just part of the self-care part of managing your bipolar disorder.

Don't forget to check out my book on bipolar at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar is a State of Mind

I recently read that happiness is a state of mind, and I definitely agree with that. However, I guarantee you that person never went through a bipolar depressive episode. I also guarantee you that someone didn't say to them, "Aww...c'mon, happiness is just a state of mine. You could be happy if you really wanted to."

Uh-uh. Wrong thing to say to someone who is struggling through the depths of depression. Have you ever been there? Then you know what I'm talking about. As much as you would love to be happy at that moment, your brain chemicals are just not cooperating. Not your fault!

Although, on the other hand, there are things you can do to improve your state of mind when you are depressed. I mean, staying in bed with the covers over your head trying to pretend that your problems will just magically go away and you will wake up and not be depressed just isn't going to make it. That's not the way to go about it.

You may not be able to jump up and down and do the Snoopy happy dance yet, but you can at least not drown out your sorrows by sleeping all day. You can at least get out of bed and try to do something productive. Then you can at least take some pride in yourself for accomplishing something that day. That's at least something!

Again, the things you do to fight depression may not make you want to dance, but they can help keep the depression from deepening. Producivity is really good for that.

So is doing something that makes you feel good about yourself. Doing something nice for someone else is good for that. You always feel good when you help someone else. Taking care of yourself makes you feel better too - do something that makes you feel good, whatever that is.

Take a bubble bath! Watch a funny video. Be with some good friends (or even just one good friend, a long as they make you feel better) or family members. Read a good book (as long as it makes you feel better). Go outside (especially if you've been inside for awhile) and do something fun.

Just doing something, anything, to make yourself feel better is a good step to fighting the depression that threatens to overwhelm you.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

K.I.S.S. with Bipolar

Have you ever heard the expression, "K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Silly)"? Well, I think it's good advice for anyone that has bipolar disorder.

For our own sakes, we have to keep things simple. It's when we make things complicated that we jeopardize our stability and go into bipolar episodes.

For some, when things got too complicated, we would just crawl into our beds, pull the covers over our heads, and go into a deep depression (bipolar depressive episode).

For others, the complications would get us all wound up, and we would go manic, ending up in a bipolar manic episode.

Now, trying to stay stable, the less complicated things are, the better it is for us.

This can take some work, however. It can mean having to remove some things (people) from our lives that may be cluttering them up, or being a negative influence over us.

Especially if things (people) are causing stress in our lives. We have to live as stress free a life as possible because of our bipolar disorder, so that could mean we have to remove the sources of stress, even if they are people.

I'm not saying this is necessarily an easy thing to do, just that it must be done if you want to be stable. Stress leads to instability, and instability leads to bipolar episodes, the very thing we're trying to avoid.

So we must keep our lives as simple, as stress free as possible, even if it means making some changes in our lives.

If you re in a particularly stress-causing situation, even a relationship, you need to give serious consideration to getting yourself out of that situation. It may mean leaving that job, or even ending that relationship.

The most important thing is protecting your stability, whatever you have to do. That's the only way to recover from bipolar disorder.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Confront Your Problems with Bipolar Disorder

No one ever told me that living with bipolar disorder would be easy. In fact, they told me the opposite. They said that living with bipolar would be very difficult. I have to tell you, they were right.

Even though I've been stable for a long time, I still have my up and down days. It's still difficult sometimes for me. I wish it were easier. But bipolar disorder is still my enemy, and threatens to steal my joy at every turn.

I still have to take my medications, see my doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist, and do all the things that keep me stable, or I might go into a bipolar episode. Still, after all this time. I'll have to do all these things for the rest of my life if I want to stay stable.

My life isn't perfect just because I'm stable. I sitll have problems. Just living this life you're going to have problems - it's the nature of the beast.

But my parents told me early in life that you have to face up to your problems - you can't hide from them. That was the source of many of my depressions - I would pull the covers over my head and try to pretend that my problems didn't exist (I was trying to hide from them). Didn't do any good, of course - they were still there when I finally removed the covers. And I was that much worse for the wear. With no solutions.

You have to confront your problems with bipolar. Face them head-on. The solution may not be right there in front of you right now, but it is there somewhere. You just might have to look for it. The point is that you do look for it - don't just pretend that the problem doesn't exist. That won't help you at all, because problems don't go away by themselves.

If you have a problem, look at it realistically. If you don't see an immediate solution, don't worry, one will come eventually. Make a list of possible solutions, even if they don't seem feasible at the time.

Then look at your list. Cross off those things that are obviously not solutions. Then look at what's left. You might have a solution right there. If not, start over again. Or try again the next day. Something will eventually pop up.

There is an expression that says, "The impossible just takes a little longer." I like that. It gives me hope that even the worst problem can be solved.

Try to be optimistic. Believe that you can solve your problem, and you will. Ask for help if you need it. Don't be too proud to ask for help. Sometimes we all need a little bit of help. And sometimes someone else can see the answer where you can't.

The worst thing you can do is to ignore the problem. Like I said, problems don't just go away because we wish them to. You have to confront your problems head-on.

Remember to check out my new bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,
Michele

Keep On Keeping On With Bipolar Disorder

I'll admit it, even though I've been stable for a long time, there are still times that I get discouraged. I mean, I accept that I have bipolar disorder, but I still don't like it.

And sometimes it gets tedious doing everything I have to do to stay stable. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to stop taking my medications or change anything about the routine that keeps me stable, because I don't dare - there is no way I want to go into another bipolar episode.

It's just that every once in awhile I do get discouraged. Not every day is all peachy keen. But nobody ever said it would be, either. I was told that no matter how stable I get, there will still be ups and downs - it's just the nature of the beast.

So how do I encourage you when I know that you'll experience the same thing (may even be experiencing it now)? All I can say is just keep on keeping on. Just keep going, even though it's not always easy.

Even when times are tough, you just need to keep going. Do the things you need to do to stay stable, in spite of fluctuating moods. Keep taking your medications. Go to see your doctor, psychiatrist, and therapist. Go to your support group. Stick to your diet. Keep your regular sleep schedule. Stay productive.

Whtever it takes, protect your stability. Whatever the cost - it is just too precious to lose. Think about it this way - you can't trust your emotions. Emotions fluctuate along with your moods. But you can trust good thoughts. Try to stay positive about things.

For example, when your mood slips, and your thoughts stray toward the negative, turn it around and remind yourself how far you've come, how long you've been stable, how long since your last bipolar episode. Then congratulate yourself on your recovery so far! You've done real well considering how bad you used to be!

If you stick to the bright side of things, you can never go wrong. Even when you get discouraged, which may still happen sometimes.

Don't forget to check out my new book on bipolar disorder at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

You Can Always Improve with Bipolar Disorder

I just got back from doing an In Our Own Voice training weekend for NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). It went great! We trained 10 new presenters. IOOV is a program where you go out to different places and tell your story about recovery from mental illness, hopefully lowering the public's stigma against it. It's a great program, and I'm proud not just to be a presenter, but to be a national trainer as well.

Anyway, it made me think of today's topic: There's always room for improvement with bipolar disorder. Because getting trained to be a presenter and trainer for IOOV was one of the ways I improved myself in my recovery from bipolar.

There was a time when I was too sick to even attempt something like this, so being able to accomplish this is a real success for me, and shows that recovery is possible, even for someone with ultra rapid cycling bipolar disorder like I have.

I don't think anyone should be satisfied with their diagnosis and that's it. I think you should try to better yourself any way you can. I mean it breaks my heart when I see that commercial for depression on TV that says, "Who does depression hurt? Everyone. Where does depression hurt? Everywhere." And it shows all these people really hurting from it. It makes it seem so hopeless.

There are many, many people struggling with bipolar disorder right now. But that doesn't mean that they'll be hopeless forever. That's one of the things that I stress in my IOOV talk - that recovery is possible. For some people, it's the first time they've ever heard that! Some people actually think they are hopeless just because they've been diagnosed with bipolar.

But there is always room for improvement with bipolar disorder. You won't always stay in bed, if that's where you are. I know, I was there. There was a whole month where I couldn't get out of bed even if I tried. I thought I was hopeless, helpless, worthless, and I just wanted to die. Yes, for someone with bipolar disorder, life can seem that bad sometimes. But it doesn't have to stay that way.

With a good treatment plan, including medication and a good doctor, psychiatrist and therapist, improvement will happen. But you've got to be motivated, and you have to believe that recovery is not only possible, but that it is possible for you.

There are others like me who were "throwaways" - people thought we'd never recover. But look at me now! I've been stable now for five years, and during that time I've been able to accomplish so much, including the fact that I now have 4 books available on amazon.com! My lifelong dream was to be a writer, and now I am!

So that just goes to show you that if you don't give up, if you keep striving toward stability and recovery, that you may very well attain some of those hopes and dreams yourself! The point is NOT to give up! No matter what the doctors say. Remember, I was one of the worst cases the doctors had ever seen, and look at me now! They'd never believe it! But I proved them wrong.

Never give up hope. And always try to improve yourself. Keep taking your medication religiously, and seeing your medical and mental health professionals. Mostly, believe in yourself and your ability to reach stability and to recover. You need to be your own biggest cheerleader!

Don't forget to check out my new bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele