Not Always Easy With Bipolar

I'm down in Florida visiting my parents and their neighbor came over the other night and was upset because she had been turned down for life insurance just because she has bipolar disorder. She said it upset her because she had been stable for so long and had worked so hard at it, but this was enough to depress her all over again. It made her feel handicapped.

I know how she feels. The same thing happened to me. I applied for life insurance and was turned down because I have bipolar disorder, too. Oh, they would let me have it if they rated me, but the rated amount was way beyond what I could afford to pay. It was like a penalty just for having bipolar. The point was that it did, like this neighbor said, make me feel handicapped. It made me feel different. It made me feel less than.

The point is that, even when you're at your most stable with bipolar disorder, there will still be situations that will pop up to challenge that stability. You will still have to face things that you're not sure you can cope and deal with, even if you've been stable for a long time. It doesn't mean you have to go into a depression over it, however - not if you fight it. And that's what I told this neighbor to do.

There are things you have control over and things you don't have control over. The things you don't have control over, you just have to let go of - like the insurance company. I told her there was nothing she could do about that, so she just needed to let go of it, and not allow it to bring her down or make her feel handicapped. Things you do have control over are things like your own thoughts - you can choose those - such as deciding NOT to dwell on negative thoughts, like thinking about how depressing it is to be thought of as different by the insurance company. I told her to think instead of positive thoughts, like how far she's come in her stability, in her recovery, compared to even a year ago. Then she doesn't seem so handicapped.

Much of the way to fight your bipolar disorder is in how you look at things. If it had its way, your disorder would have you depressed and helpless and hopeless, looking at your situations as overwhelming and your problems as unsolvable. That's enough to keep you bound to your disorder and in a depressive episode for months! But then your disorder is in control of you, and you are not in control of it! But that's not the way it should be - you should be the one in control, and you CAN be!

For you to be in control of your bipolar disorder (instead of the other way around), you need to be in control, and you need to look at things from a position of power - as if situations are NOT overwhelming and problems are NOT unsolvable. You need to remind yourself that you CAN cope and deal with situations that confront you, whether you feel like you can at the moment or not - the solution just may not be visible at the time, but you can still believe for it, you can still know that you will be able to cope and deal with the situation. Just remind yourself. Positive self-talk works. It helps you to stay in control of your disorder.

Eventually, time will bear out your effort. The more situations you are able to conquer at this time, the more you will be able to conquer in the future as they confront you. In this way, you will be building stability and strength for your recovery and the ability to cope and deal with more situations.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele