Handling Bipolar Anger

If anyone ever gave you the idea that once you went on medication for your bipolar disorder that you would never get angry again, they were wrong. And if you believed that you would never get angry again, you were wrong. Anger is a human emotion, and it happens to everyone. It's how you handle it that counts.

When we're unmedicated (untreated) or undermedicated, or we're off our medications and go into a manic rage, we can experience some really strong feelings of anger - that's why it's called a manic rage. That's when our anger is out of control.

When our anger is out of control, it is almost too late to do anything about it. It takes a lot to rein in that anger once it's gotten to the rage stage. If you can recognize it then and intentionally rein it in, you can gain control over it, but it will take effort and energy on your part to do it. It has to be a conscious choice and a decision at that point to turn back the rage.

The point is, you don't want your anger to get that far, though. You want to be able to contol it so that you don't go into a manic rage.

You will get angry. You need to accept that. Everyone gets angry sometimes. But you need to handle it in a positive way.

One person uses what she calls the 10-10-10 rule. It works like this:

She asks herself, "Is this worth getting angry over? Will it have been worth getting angry over 10 minutes from now? 10 days from now? 10 years from now?" In other words, she tries to put her anger into perspective.

For us, anger is usually a knee-jerk reaction to something someone has said or done to us. Part of our management of our bipolar disorder is learning how to be proactive instead of reactive. So we learn how to manage our anger instead of reacting in anger.

Even using the 10-10-10 rule, as good as that is, is still reacting. So how do we manage our anger in a proactive way? First of all, we try to keep our stress levels as low as possible. That way, there is less chance of us ever getting angry in the first place.

Then we surround ourselves with positive people. Positive people are less prone to make us angry. And less prone to get angry themselves.

We also try to avoid situations in which there is a chance that we might become angry. It's kind of like avoiding triggers to episodes. You know what types of things (and people) make you angry. So you avoid those types of things.

For example, I hate waiting in line. It can make me angry to have to wait in line for a long time. So I don't go to places (like the movies) where I know I'm going to have to wait in line; thus, I avoid the trigger to the anger in the first place.

Should you find yourself getting angry, however, there are still some things you can do. Self-talk is one of them. You can use positive self-talk to calm yourself down. Tell yourself (think) things like, "I do not have to get angry over this - this too shall pass." "This is not this person's fault. They can't help it." (which is especially helpful in traffic). "I will not get angry over this. I am choosing not to get angry. I will stay calm instead." These are just some examples. Use whatever works for you.

Anger, although usually a reaction, can also be a choice. You can choose NOT to react in anger. And, in our case, it is the better choice to not react in anger, so that we don't get to the manic rage stage, and so that we maintain our stability.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele