Will I Ever Have a Normal Day with Bipolar Disorder?

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever have a "normal" day with bipolar disorder. The only thing I can come up with is, "Some days are better than other days." I can't run and hide from this disorder -- it is something that I have and always will have.

But then I thought back to some of my days before I was diagnosed and put on medication for my disorder. I thought those were "normal" days? How far that was from the truth. If those were normal, I didn't want them.

My days were filled with stress and prayers to God to just get me through the day. Truth is, there was a time when I prayed to Him not to let me wake up -- not if it meant one more day of the same. I struggled so terribly, and my life was horrible.

The diagnosis of bipolar disorder did come as a surprise to me. Although I knew something was wrong, I didn't know what. There wasn't a whole lot of information on it out there at the time -- no self-diagnosis tests to take.

I learned to accept the abnormal as normal, and no one should have to do that.

I have come to the conclusion that I DO have "normal" days with bipolar disorder. A normal day for me is when I have no symptoms. That's the best way I've found to define it.

Luckily, I have had many of those.

We really aren't that different from people who don't have bipolar disorder. Their struggle just has a different name. But everyone struggles - this life is not an easy one. We're fortunate that there is treatment for our struggle, though.

When I was first diagnosed and told that this was a "forever" disease with no cure, I wanted to die, because every day was such a struggle for me. I wasn't told that someday I would have stress-free and symptom-free days. I wish I was. That's why I write this blog - to tell people that they are NOT alone, and things do get better.

Things do get better. I wish I had known that in the beginning. But back then, there was no one like me on a blog assuring me of that. It took a while for me to become stabilized.

But it was worth it. I have such a good life today. It took me some time to realize that going off my meds so I could feel that manic high was no longer worth it. I always had the inevitable crash into depression anyway, so why do it? When I became medication compliant, I started to get better.

Today I am better. I am stable. And yes, I have normal days with bipolar disorder. So I at least am proof that it can happen, and that the struggle you're going through will not last forever.

You, too, can have a normal day with bipolar disorder.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele