Trouble Sleeping - Bipolar Manic Episode?

I didn't get to sleep last night until 3:30 a.m. Needless to say, I'm exhausted today!

But I am so glad I'm exhausted and not manic, which could so easily be the case. Lack of sleep is one of my biggest triggers to a bipolar episode.

Yet lack of sleep does not necessarily a manic episode make -- we can all have a bad night here and there, whether we have bipolar disorder or not. So I'm not going to assume the worst.

Instead, I put in a call to my psychiatrist to notify him that my sleep medication may not be doing its job (I've had a few sleepless nights in the past 2 weeks). I know enough not to up the dose by myself, and to always let my psychiatrist know what's happening with me. Then we'll work it out together.

I haven't had a manic episode in years, and am so happy about that. My last one was really bad - I ended up self-mutilating and everything, and (of course) ended up in the hospital. Not a place I'd like to visit again soon.

But I take each day as it comes. Some days are better than other days, but I refuse to give in to the BP, or let it get the better of me.

I have a plan. Tonight I will take my pills earlier, listen to some calming music, drink a cup of Sleepytime tea, and go to sleep early.

I probably won't get a response about my medication until tomorrow, so that's how I will take care of myself tonight.

It's all part of my bipolar stability. I've had to learn to accept that there are some things I have control over (like listening to music and drinking tea to relax me), and other things that I don't have control over (every once in a while, I may have a bad night).

But I don't give up. No, you can never give up or give in to your bipolar disorder. Do whatever you have to do to stay stable. Sometimes it can mean asking for help, like I'm doing with my psychiatrist. Sometimes it means being creative (music and tea). But you need to always fight to keep your stability.

Now, if I did nothing, and kept having sleepless nights, within about a week I WOULD be in a bipolar manic episode. That's why I'm heeding this warning.

And that's how I see it - yes, it's only a few sleepless nights over a couple weeks, but it is still a warning to look at how I'm managing my disorder. Because I definitely DO NOT want to go into another manic episode!

How do I know the difference? If I still had energy today, I'd say that would be abnormal for me, and might start considering that I'm in a manic episode. But I'm so tired from losing sleep, and I know that's just a normal reaction to that lack of sleep.

I can't always control my sleep (or lack of it), but I can sure do something about it, like calling my psychiatrist and taking care of myself (like my plans for tonight).

I've had migraines for over 30 years now. Now, many people who have chronic migraines like I do experience a sort of "aura" or other warning before they get the migraine. Unfortunately, I don't. But I'm using the comparison, because usually you will get a warning if a bipolar episode is coming on, while you can still do something about it.

You don't have to make something out of nothing and assume the worst, but you do need to heed the warnings.

Well, here's to a good night's sleep! :)

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele