Visiting the Past is Ok, But Don'tt Dwell on It

I truly believe in living life one day at a time, and especially in living in the moment (staying in the day you're in), especially if you have bipolar disorder.

I've had too many bipolar episodes that happened because I went too far into the past or for too long and got depressed, leading into a bipolar depressive episode, because it's like I couldn't get back to the present soon enough or easily enough to "rescue" myself before it was too late.

On the other hand, like my husband always says, "It took what it took," meaning that had things in my past not happened the way that they did, I wouldn't be the person that I am today, and I like who I am today.

My past has shaped the person I am now. It has made me a stronger person for what I had to go through, for what I had to endure. Now, don't get me wrong. There is no way I would want to go back through any of it again. But at least I can make the best of it now.

Mostly I use my past to help others, at least it has done that much for me. For example, my sobriety is sacred to me, and when I am talking to younger people about alcohol and drugs (and trying to keep them from using them), I will bring up things from my past to illustrate my points.

I will do the same thing when I'm talking about recovery from bipolar disorder. I wasn't always this stable. When talking to people who are newly diagnosed, or are still struggling with their disorder, I will tell them about things in my past that have helped me to become stable, things that might help them as well.

I also tell them about things that haven't worked, and things to stay away from, like trying to stay up all night, as I learned the hard way that that will usually lead to a bipolar manic episode. I learned the importance of a good sleep schedule, but just preaching that without using stories from my past sort of just falls limp. So I use the stories to back it up.

Tell someone a scary story about one of your hospitalizations from when you weren't sleeping, and they are more apt to listen when you tell them how important it is to get the right amount of sleep when you have bipolar disorder, believe me!

I will not dwell on my past. I will, however, visit it on occasion when I need to bring up something to illustrate a point. Staying there too long is still, no matter how long I've been stable, too dangerous a thing for me to do.

Check out my new bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele