We'd all like to live in a world without problems, wouldn't we? Life would be so much simpler that way. Unfortunately, that's just not realistic. Life comes with its problems, and it's up to us to solve them.
Sometimes the solution to our problem is right there in front of us. That's the best kind - the least stressful kind. Problem...solution...no more problem! Wouldn't it be great if all our problems were like that?
More likely, however, our problems usually take a little more work. That's why we develop problem-solving techniques. Like a pro and con list (or an advantages/disadvantages list). Or we list options when looking at our problem. Or we go to other people for advice. Things like that. In other words, we actively "work" on the solution.
Using our methods and techniques, we can usually come to a viable solution - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but we do come to a solution.
What if a solution doesn't readily present itself, though?
What if we go through all our problem-solving techniques, talk to other people, look at all the options, etc., and still can't come up with a solution? What do we do then?
Then we do one of the hardest things of all. We WAIT.
Yes, we WAIT.
Patiently waiting, although difficult, can be helpful in problem-solving as well. Sometimes, just by waiting, a solution will "magically" appear, where there didn't appear to be one before. New facts can present themselves, a situation can be seen in a different light, someone may come up with a different view on the subject that you hadn't considered before, and the solution will be there for you.
Sometimes, by patiently waiting, the problem can even solve itself! Not very often, but yes, it does happen.
Problems are a part of life, and we all have to deal with them, especially when we're dealing with bipolar disorder. But all we can do is our best, and sometimes that includes waiting.
BTW, I have started a NEW BLOG at: www.brokenroseministries.com/blog that you really need to check out! It will really inspire you!
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Bipolar Sponsor
One of the reasons that 12 step programs are so successful is the idea of a sponsor, someone further along in the program who shares their "experience, strength, and hope" with you and helps you to get further along in the program as well.
They befriend you, they are a source of inspiration for you, of education, of strength, of encouragement, someone to go to when you need help or just someone to talk to, someone who can understand what you're going through because they've been there themselves.
Wouldn't it be great to have a bipolar sponsor? Someone who could be all those things for you?
I know I've talked before about how important it is to have a good bipolar support system, one made up of family, friends, etc. But only someone else with bipolar disorder can truly understand what you go through trying to deal with the disorder. Only they can understand the ups and downs, the mood swings, the problems with medications and side effects, the stigma, how you can feel "different," or "alone," etc.
Your supporters do care about you and truly want to understand - that's why they're your supporters. But as much as they care and want to understand, that can only go so far. If they don't have bipolar disorder, they can't understand you in that way - not like someone with the disorder can.
It would be great to have a bipolar sponsor, like someone in a 12 step program does. Someone who you can call on when you need someone to talk to on a bad bipolar day, who would know how you feel. Someone who can maybe give you advice, or tell you what worked for them in a similar situation.
Someone who could pass on tips and tricks and other things that got them to the degree of stability where they are today.
Maybe there is someone in your bipolar support group that you can approach with this idea?
Or maybe you are the one with stability and there is someone in your own support group who you see struggling with their bipolar, and you can offer your support and help and guidance. You could be their bipolar sponsor. Share your own "experience, strength, and hope" with them.
More than anything else, you could share your hope for recovery with them. They could look at you and seeing your stability, have hope for it themselves. And that could be as important for them as the medication that they take!
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
They befriend you, they are a source of inspiration for you, of education, of strength, of encouragement, someone to go to when you need help or just someone to talk to, someone who can understand what you're going through because they've been there themselves.
Wouldn't it be great to have a bipolar sponsor? Someone who could be all those things for you?
I know I've talked before about how important it is to have a good bipolar support system, one made up of family, friends, etc. But only someone else with bipolar disorder can truly understand what you go through trying to deal with the disorder. Only they can understand the ups and downs, the mood swings, the problems with medications and side effects, the stigma, how you can feel "different," or "alone," etc.
Your supporters do care about you and truly want to understand - that's why they're your supporters. But as much as they care and want to understand, that can only go so far. If they don't have bipolar disorder, they can't understand you in that way - not like someone with the disorder can.
It would be great to have a bipolar sponsor, like someone in a 12 step program does. Someone who you can call on when you need someone to talk to on a bad bipolar day, who would know how you feel. Someone who can maybe give you advice, or tell you what worked for them in a similar situation.
Someone who could pass on tips and tricks and other things that got them to the degree of stability where they are today.
Maybe there is someone in your bipolar support group that you can approach with this idea?
Or maybe you are the one with stability and there is someone in your own support group who you see struggling with their bipolar, and you can offer your support and help and guidance. You could be their bipolar sponsor. Share your own "experience, strength, and hope" with them.
More than anything else, you could share your hope for recovery with them. They could look at you and seeing your stability, have hope for it themselves. And that could be as important for them as the medication that they take!
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Anniversary of My Sister's Suicide
Today is a very painful day for me. It is the anniversary of my only sister's suicide. It's been five years now, but the pain is still the same. People say it gets easier, but it sure hasn't for me - every year it is just as hard for me.
This morning I lit a candle and placed it in front of my favorite picture of the two of us and talked to her for a little while, telling her how much I miss her, and cried for awhile. I do miss her, so very much. Of course, that part isn't just today, that part is every single day. I have other girlfriends, but Debi was my best friend in the world.
She would call me every morning from Florida (I live in Tennessee) and we would talk about everything and nothing, you know, just sister stuff. We called it "having coffee together." It felt like we were really together, you know? The only day she ever missed was the day she killed herself. That's how I knew something was wrong. And then I got the call from her husband. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. All the air went out from me, and I just kept screaming, "NO! NO! NO!" over and over and over again!
I went into shock. I just couldn't believe that my sister, my best friend, was dead. There had been no clues. And she left no suicide note. We had no answers, just a whole lot of questions. Apparently, my sister had been a really great actress, because I talked to her every day, and I had no idea of the amount of pain she was in.
Here's the "story behind the story." You see, Debi had bipolar disorder. And she had gotten it into her head that she was "cured," because she was feeling so good, so she went off her medication. This caused her to become irrational, and eventually she killed herself. All because she went off her medication.
So if you ever wonder why I get up on my soapbox and preach so often and so strongly about staying on your bipolar medications, this is why. I wouldn't want your family members to go through what my family and I are going through today, what we go through every day having my sister gone from our lives. Needlessly.
You would have loved Debi. When she was stable on her bipolar medication, she was so full of life and so happy! She no longer had the mood swings that she had before. She was on an even keel. She was productive, running a multi-million dollar corporation from home that she and her husband had started. She was very successful, and her clients loved her. She had a great sense of humor, and everyone loved being around her. She always made everyone feel good about themselves.
I know she made me feel good about myself. She always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. See, I had wanted to be a successful author since I was 12 years old. She believed I would be, even though I doubted. That's part of why today is so hard for me. I've just gotten four books published, and she isn't here to share in this success with me, and I so wish she were. She would be so proud of me.
I've said all that to say this: Please, I am begging you, please stay on your bipolar medications, even if you don't want to. I know there may be some side effects, and sometimes they may be hard to handle, but it's better than the alternative. Remember what I've just written. Think about it. Remember Debi's story. And don't go off your medications no matter what. I don't want your family members to suffer like I am today.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
This morning I lit a candle and placed it in front of my favorite picture of the two of us and talked to her for a little while, telling her how much I miss her, and cried for awhile. I do miss her, so very much. Of course, that part isn't just today, that part is every single day. I have other girlfriends, but Debi was my best friend in the world.
She would call me every morning from Florida (I live in Tennessee) and we would talk about everything and nothing, you know, just sister stuff. We called it "having coffee together." It felt like we were really together, you know? The only day she ever missed was the day she killed herself. That's how I knew something was wrong. And then I got the call from her husband. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. All the air went out from me, and I just kept screaming, "NO! NO! NO!" over and over and over again!
I went into shock. I just couldn't believe that my sister, my best friend, was dead. There had been no clues. And she left no suicide note. We had no answers, just a whole lot of questions. Apparently, my sister had been a really great actress, because I talked to her every day, and I had no idea of the amount of pain she was in.
Here's the "story behind the story." You see, Debi had bipolar disorder. And she had gotten it into her head that she was "cured," because she was feeling so good, so she went off her medication. This caused her to become irrational, and eventually she killed herself. All because she went off her medication.
So if you ever wonder why I get up on my soapbox and preach so often and so strongly about staying on your bipolar medications, this is why. I wouldn't want your family members to go through what my family and I are going through today, what we go through every day having my sister gone from our lives. Needlessly.
You would have loved Debi. When she was stable on her bipolar medication, she was so full of life and so happy! She no longer had the mood swings that she had before. She was on an even keel. She was productive, running a multi-million dollar corporation from home that she and her husband had started. She was very successful, and her clients loved her. She had a great sense of humor, and everyone loved being around her. She always made everyone feel good about themselves.
I know she made me feel good about myself. She always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. See, I had wanted to be a successful author since I was 12 years old. She believed I would be, even though I doubted. That's part of why today is so hard for me. I've just gotten four books published, and she isn't here to share in this success with me, and I so wish she were. She would be so proud of me.
I've said all that to say this: Please, I am begging you, please stay on your bipolar medications, even if you don't want to. I know there may be some side effects, and sometimes they may be hard to handle, but it's better than the alternative. Remember what I've just written. Think about it. Remember Debi's story. And don't go off your medications no matter what. I don't want your family members to suffer like I am today.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
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