The Bipolar Blahs

I feel like I should make up some song called "The Bipolar Blahs" to describe those times when you just don't feel like coping with what you're being presented with in a given day. Perfect example - I just don't feel like working today. It's a blah day for me. I have little motivation, and even less inspiration. Wish I could just bring in a note from my mom and get an "excused absence" like my kids used to do. Then lay around doing nothing all day.

Unfortunately, song or no song, I have to be responsible. Especially because I have bipolar disorder, because people are watching me to see what I'll do. And it really is true that you need to be productive in some way to maintain your bipolar stability.

I know on my Sundays (my one day off), I laze around and watch old movies on TV all day. But I allow myself that, because I worked hard the other 6 days. So it's kind of like a reward, but a necessity as well, put in place so I truly do relax one day of the week, so I don't get overwhelmed from overwork (which I did at one point, thus explaining my Sundays now).

I'm not really depressed, but I'm not thoroughly overjoyed, either. You ever have one of those days? I don't want to call myself lazy (although lazy is how I'm feeling), because that has such a negative ring to it. And I don't want to be unproductive for the same reason.

So what's the answer? Plod on thru The Bipolar Blahs until tomorrow, the best way I can, and hope that tomorrow I have more of an optimistic outlook.

Another important point is that you have to rule out any physical reason for feeling this way. Like my girlfriend has this awful cold, and I might be getting it. So look for a physical cause for it before you go tagging it a bipolar depressive episode (they don't really come as frequently as people think they do, unless you're a rapid cycler).

Ok, so let's make the best of this (how???)...

Ah, pull out the old Attitude of Gratitude. I may not "feel" like it, but when I do a Gratitude List (written or in my head) anyway, my spirits start to be lifted. I truly am grateful for the smallest of things in my life. Like the fact that the ice stopped outside. Or that my children are healthy. Or that I'm not in an episode. Or that I have a wonderful husband and supporter. Or that I have a job (even tho I don't feel like working it right now)... well, you get the idea. Count your many blessings, even the small ones, and after awhile, The Bipolar Blahs may very well just go away with your gratitude!

If not (and it's possible that they won't), just count it as a bad bipolar day, and believe that tomorrow will be better. Then try to wake up tomorrow in an optimistic mood. Otherwise, I may have to write that song after all! LOL

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele