Bipolar Disorder or What?

There's a guy I'm dealing with right now, who isn't exactly "right," and I'm asking myself, "Well, is it bipolar disorder or what?" Here I am, not a doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist, but I'm diagnosing this guy anyway. Because I've seen so much of it. And so many people with it - did you know that 1 in 4 people has a diagnosable mental illness? That's a lot of people.

Anyway, the uneducated person in me just wants to get mad at this guy for causing me frustration, and for causing a friend of mine to have problems in his business because of him and things he's doing. But then I think, "He's just sick. There's something wrong with him, and he has a mental illness, and he's just a sick man."

Then the other part of me wants to argue: "Being sick is no excuse to do some of the things he's done. He can't get away with being this way just because he's sick."

And then I realize that these are some of the same comments that have probably been said about me! Or anyone with a mental illness. By people who don't understand.

So I'm trying to understand this man who is doing these things to my friend and his business. I'm trying to understand that he is sick, and that's why he's doing them. And I'm trying to be as understanding of him as I would want someone to be of me.

But there is still a part of me that honestly wants to scream at him, "You're sick and you need to get help!" since he doesn't seem to see his own sickness, and is not getting any help for himself, so he keeps doing these things to my friend (and others).

Then I think of my own stability, and that to maintain it I need to be tolerant of others and accepting of situations I cannot control. I think this falls into those categories.

Well, I want stability more than anything, so I'm afraiid I must, at least at this point, stay out of it, hoping he will see his own need for help, just as I saw mine when the time was right.

What do you think I should do?

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,

Michele

Bipolar: Black Friday

Well, it's Black Friday, an exciting day for some and a nightmare for others (then there are those of us who avoid it altogether).

I hope y'all had a great Thanksgiving yesterday. We did. We went to my husband's grandmother's house for dinner at noon, but only stayed a couple of hours.

Family gatherings are hard for us with our bipolar disorder. There is usually a lot of stress with all that family around. Like yesterday, when my husband said that we were going to leave because his leg was bothering him (he has chronic pain in his leg), his grandmother accused him of faking it.

Before some of the rest of his family could chime in (and before he could act out on his anger), we got out of there! I can just imagine how that made him feel. I know how it would make me feel.

But it was still a good time (until that point, anyway) - my middle son came with us, and my stepdaughter met us there and stayed for around a half hour before she had to go to her other grandmother's, so it was nice that my husband got to see his daughter for at least a little while (he hardly ever sees her - she is at college).

The main thing was that we took care of ourselves and our bipolar disorder, though. We know that these family get-togethers bother us, make our stress levels go up, so we never plan to stay for very long. So we made our escape early this time, like usual.

We know that the family questions it, even makes comments about it, but we have to take care of ourselves first. If we stayed just to please them, or to quiet their comments, our bipolar would suffer.

Just like today, Black Friday. I know that crowds are a trigger to my bipolar disorder, so to take care of myself, I stay away (far away) from the stores on Black Friday. In fact, I had all the rest of my Christmas shopping done on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Whether you do Black Friday or you don't, I hope you're getting into the Holiday Spirit now. Just make sure that you take care of yourself and your bipolar disorder first.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar: Holidays Are Coming

Well, the holidays are coming, and you can tell by an almost shift in the air, if not all the holiday commercials on TV that have started flooding the airwaves!

This year I'm "in the spirit," so to speak, so I am happy about all the hullabaloo, but I can remember years when I was so depressed that all of it just made it worse for me.

The holidays can be the most stressful time for someone with bipolar disorder. What might be exciting for someone without bipolar can be either overly exciting (manic) to someone with bipolar or cause them to go into a depression.

I've been in both at holiday time. So this year I'm happy that I'm stable at this time of the yar, and looking forward to a good holiday season.

I've already even gotten my Christmas shopping done, believe it or not! And I'll be putting up my Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day, so I'm looking forward to that.

I'll be wrapping presents that day and putting them under the tree, thus to begin the month-long wait until Christmas to be able to open gifts. That's the hard part - just having to look at all those gifts and not be able to open them! (my husband has his shopping done too).

I got my shopping done so early because crowds are a trigger to my bipolar disorder, so this way I don't have to deal with them. I'm so glad it's all done!

I used to wait, so that I could be a part of the Christmas spirit at the malls and stores, but I didn't find any Christmas spirit there - just a lot of stressed out people looking for the best deals they could find. It's even worse now with the economy the way it is. So now I don't have to deal with all that, and that makes me happy.

This year we're going to my husband's grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner, so I don't have to fuss with all that, so that makes me pretty happy, too. I remember too many years that making the whole dinner totally stressed me out. This year I won't have to deal with that. Smooth sailing on Thanksgiving Day!

I hope you're taking care of yourself this holiday season and, like me, avoiding your bipolar triggers. If you do, you can have a good holiday season. You just have to do some adapting, like avoiding crowds and planning ahead of time, and things like that.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar Disorder: Try Something Different

In one of my worst depressions, my therapist gave me some of the best advice I've ever gotten: "If what you're doing isn't working for you, try something different."

I've had to use that advice several times over the years, and it has never let me down. Many times I've found myself in a bipolar rut, not knowing what to do, and those words would come back to me: "try something different."

Recently, I've had to use this technique again and, of course, it did not let me down. I'd been having trouble getting to sleep. Once I got to sleep, I was fine - it was just the getting to sleep in the beginning that I was having problems with. So I tried something different.

I tried listening to a CD on Insomnia that I got from a psychiatrist friend of mine at www.goodtapes.com, Louis P. Bauer, PhD. It was amazing how much that CD helped me get to sleep. His soothing voice and technique helped put me to sleep so much faster than I'd been able to get to sleep on my own.

I was able to overcome that hurdle all because I remembered that advice I'd been given way back when to "try something different."

When I was having a problem with racing thoughts, when my mind just wouldn't shut off, I again remembered the advice to "try something different." Everything I'd tried had failed, so I was willing to try anything to still those racing thoughts. It came to me to try doing (easy) crossword puzzles.

I focused my thoughts on the crossword puzzles and not on my own thoughts, and it worked to keep my thoughts from racing. I still use this technique today.

If what you're doing isn't working, "try something different." Be creative, like I was with the crossword puzzle idea. Think of things that you haven't tried before, but would be willing to try to solve your problem. Then try it! It just might be the very thing that takes care of your problem, like the Insomnia CD did for me.

Sometimes, when you have bipolar disorder, things can be going along fine for quite awhile before they stop working as well as they were. That's when you have to "try something different," because what you're doing isn't working any more.

It can happen with medications, too. If you've been on a medication for a long time, it can stop working for you. Then your psychiatrist may have to switch you to another medication. In other words, you have to "try something different."

If you're in a bipolar rut, or stuck in a problem that you haven't been able to find a solution for, try using this piece of advice that worked so well for me: "try something different." It just might be the key to unlocking the puzzle that you've been unable to solve!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Happiness and Bipolar Disorder

Is it possible to be happy and still have bipolar disorder? Yes, I believe it is. I don't ean the giddy exhilerating happiness of a manic episode, just the normal happiness that living a good life can bring.

If you do all the things you do to manage your disorder properly so that you are stable with your bipolar, then stability alone can bring you happiness. Just to not be going in and out of episodes makes me happy.

Spending time with family and friends can bring you happiness. Especially if there was a time when this was ot possible, or was strained due to your bipolar disorder.

Happiness is a state of mind. The more positive you are, the happier you will be. If you're the "look for the silver lining" kind of person, you should be happy just in general, it shouldn't take much to make you happy. There's much to be said for looking on the bright side of things, especially when you have bipolar.

The things that make me happiest are the simple things. I used to struggle just to get out of bed, I was so depressed. It makes me happy now that I can do that without effort, and actually enjoy my days. They are filled with productivity and accomplishments now, where I used to spend much of my time sleeping.

We live on a horse farm out in the country, and I enjoy the simple pleasure of just sitting outside and watching the horses run. It's quiet and peaceful here, and it brings me happiness. I no longer have chaos and turmoil in my life, and that makes me happy, too.

To do things that make you feel good will bring you happiness as well. Even if it's as simple as reading a good book. Or as ambitious as taking a college course. And everything in between, like: watching TV or a good video, listening to soothing music (or any kind of music that you like), taking a long walk, exercising, visiting with a friend or family member, going out to lunch or dinner, going shopping, volunteering, taking a bubble bath, writing a letter or email, cruising the Internet, or any number of things - as long as they make you feel good, they will make you happy.

Thinking back to how far you have come in your recovery should make you happy. To think how much more stable you are than you once were should make you proud of how much you have accomplished for where you are today compared to where you once were. Think of all the things you cana do today that once were practically impossible for you to do. Then be happy that you can do those things today.

Yes, happiness is definitely possible, even though you have bipolar disorder. Don't let your bipolar interfere with your happiness. Be happy in spite of it!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Looking Forward with Bipolar

One of the reasons that people with bipolar disorder get so depressed is that they dwell on the past too much. I think at least one of the reasons I do so well with my bipolar is that I'm always looking forward - I no longer dwell on my past.

It's ok if a past memory comes up and you want to visit it for a little while - just don't spend too much time on it, or it will draw you back there, and the next thing you know you'll be feeling discontent with your present, even depressed.

I learned about living in the present when I took Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), which teaches about mindfulness. Mindfulness teaches you to live in the moment, to experience what you're living in the now, without going back to the past. It teaches you to leave your past behind, where it belongs.

Today my life is so much better than it used to be. I enjoy each and every day that I am stable and not having to battle with bipolar episodes. Those belong to my past, and I have no desire to go back there. If I have a bad day, a thought might come to me that I might be going into an episode, but with my mindfulness training, i just remind myself that I'm living in the present now, and in my present are no bipolar episodes. See how it works?

Dark days belong in the past, not in the present. You've worked too hard to get where you are. Don't go back and visit your dark days any more. That was your past, and it's gone. Leave it alone. The past is passed.

Now is the time for you to enjoy your present and to look forward. There is so much good to look forward to. If you're not where you'd like to be yet, be patient - you'll get there. It just gives you something to look forward to. My husband likes to call those "yets."

The main thing is that you enjoy your present and look forward to your future. And that you leave your past where it belongs - in your past. Today is a new page you have yet to write in the book of your life - make the most of it!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Don't Let Bipolar Disorder Limit You

In order not to let bipolar disorder limit you, you need to remember one very important thing right off the bat - you are NOT your disorder!

Remember that you are a person first and a person with bipolar disorder second. It might help you if you think of it in this way: Bipolar disorder is something that you HAVE, not something that you ARE. I always say I have bipolar disorder, and not I am bipolar. That helps me to keep it two different things.

You are a very special person, aside from the fact that you have bipolar disorder - in fact, despite the fact that you have bipolar. Most people with bipolar are emore intelligent and more creative than those who don't have it. They "color outside the lines," so to speak. Learn to accept, even cherish, your differences, and your bipolar won't limit you.

If you are stable with your disorder, there should be nothing you can't do that someone without the disorder can do. You just have to be wary. In other words, if you know that big crowds of people are a trigger for you, avoid big crowds of people. But don't let it keep you from going out or going to places you still want to go. Just go to places that have a smaller amount of people. For example, if you enjoy shopping, go to a department store instead of the crowded mall.

Don't let bipolar limit your dreams, either. If you dream of going to college, do it. Again, be wary. If you know that stress is a trigger for you, just keep your stress levels to a minimum, but don't let it stop you from going to school. In fact, in this case your bipolar disorder can work to your advantage, as accommodations can be made for you.

As long as you are doing what it takes to stay stable, there are many things you can do. The main thing is your attitude - if you have the attitude that you are not going to let your bipolar disorder limit you, then it won't. Then you can do anything you want.

Just be aware of your triggers, and avoid them. And always be wary of signs and symptoms to a bipolar episode, so you can catch them as soon as they begin and can get treatment for them, so you don't go into a full-blown episode.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

What Really Matters with Bipolar Disorder

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what's really important in my life, especially in relation to my bipolar disorder. And what I've come up with is that it's the little things, the simple things that count the most.

For example, in relation to my bipolar, I don't think about how far I have yet to go, I think instead of how far I have already come with it. There was a time when I couldn't even get out of bed, I was so depressed. Now, I go around speaking about my mental illness for the National Alliance on Mental Illness's In Our Own Voice program, giving people hope that recovery is a possibility for them.

Chaos and drama used to be the norm for me. Especially in manic episodes. Now, simplicity is my way of life. And with simplicity comes peace. I live a very peaceful life now. And because of that, I am able to be stable with my bipolar disorder.

I used to be so stressed all the time! It seemed like my life was one catastrophe after another. I couldn't handle anything, and I went from episode to episode. Now that life is so much simpler, I haven't had an episode in years, and stability is my reward.

Whenever I have a bad day (and yes, I still have bad days here and there), all I have to do is remember how far I've come and I feel better. Things will never be that bad again. I've fought hard to get to where I am now, and I would hate to have to go though all that all over again, so I cherish my stability and do whatever I have to do to maintain it.

If you are struggling right now, then try to keep in mind how far you have already come. Think back to your worst days, and remind yourself that you never have to go back there again. You've come so far! Don't worry about how far you have yet to go - it will come in time. Just keep doing what you have to do one day at a time, and the time will add up for you.

Try to stay positive. Look ahead, and not behind. Try to believe that the worst is over for you, and the best is yet to come. Stability (recovery) IS a possibility for you, as it was for me, and I was one of the most severe cases of bipolar disorder the doctors had ever seen! If I could do it, so can you!

Don't give up hope. Hope can get you through some of the toughest places. Keep your mind on the simple things in life, and not the drama. It's the simple things that will bring you peace and, ultimately, the serenity that you seek.

If your current medication is not working for you, work with your doctor or psychiatrist to find the right medication that will bring you the balance that you need. It's out there! It took me 2 years to find my "sanity cocktail," but it's kept me stable now for many years, so it was worth it.

If you're having trouble finding peace and balance in your life, try working with a therapist to get at those troublesome issues associated with your bipolar disorder that may be keeping you from being stable and finding that peace and balance.

And search within yourself for the courage to keep going in the face of one of the hardest disorders to overcome. You have that courage! You just may have to look a little harder for it. But each day that you get out of bed is an accomplishment, as many people with the disorder are unable to.

Each day that you make it through is a defeat against the disorder that would try to rob you of the stability that is to be yours in the long run. Fight it! And stability will be yours!

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Finding Contentment with Bipolar Disorder

How can you find contentment with bipolar disorder? It has to come from within you. The disorder itself will not change - the same diagnosis you had in the beginning is the same diagnosis you have today. The only thing that can change is YOU.

If you have found any contentment at all with having a diagnosis of bipolar, it's because you have found that contentment DESPITE having bipolar disorder. It's because you have found a way to FEEL contented in the midst of the disorder.

That's how I've been able to do it, at least. I know I still have bipolar disorder, but today I am content. Yes, I take a bunch of medication I would rather not take, but if I didn't take it, I wouldn't feel as good as I do today, so I take it. I wish I didn't have to see a therapist twice a month and spill my guts, but I do it because it, too, adds to my general sense of contentment.

These things, as well as all the other things I do to maintain my bipolar stability, add up to my sense of contentment. I do them because I have to in order to maintain stability, but because I do them, I feel content. Does that make sense? In other words, if I didn't do them, I would have no contentment. I wouldn't be happy.

I wouldn't be happy, because I wouldn't be stable, and bipolar stability is of prime importance to me. Without it, my life wouldn't have the quality that it has today. So I do whatever I have to do to have that.

Don't underestimate contentment. It's a great feeling! I remember when it was all I could do just to get through a day. Just to get out of bed, at times, was a major accomplishment for me. Today my life is so much better! So, like I said, I do whatever I have to do to have that, and no longer resent it.

I love that feeling of contentment. The simplicity of my life today is so much more preferable to all that chaos and drama that once ruled my world. I went from manic episode to manic episode, believing that I was so much better off without my medication, because I could be ME! WRONG! I am more ME on my medication than I ever was off it, because on my medication I am in control. And being in control is important to me.

Contentment is serenity. Peace. And those I have in my life today, when there was a point at which I never thought I would have them. So today I am grateful for all the little things that make up that contentment, peace, serenity, and stability.

Don't forget to check out my bipolar book at: www.brokenroseministries.com

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele